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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Christmas Cards


Pirate Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice. Nice children receive rum, sodomy, and the lash, with the emphasis on the rum. Naughty children also get rum, sodomy, and the lash, but the emphasis is no longer on the rum.

Piece 8 in a series! Collect the set!

Last: Rosina Leckermaul! "To Serve Children..." it's a cookbook!
Next: The Doppelgänger Bread Man! Imagine running into yourself as a horrifying but delicious treat! You can't catch him, but if you ever meet who's to say who will find whom tastier?

Nota bene on the font: I was pushing for Logger and AK for Baptismal, but Smut INSISTED on this.

Oh, I forgot to mention milk and cookies are victuals only fit for lubbers and children. Pirate Santa expects rum and hardtack, and would not say no to a plate of limes for his eight scurvy reindeer.
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18 comments:

  1. zombie rotten mcdonaldDecember 21, 2011 at 5:27 PM

    Don't even try Zombie Santa, unless you want an involuntary trepanning.

    ReplyDelete
  2. tigrisDecember 21, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    Zombie's in the Easter set.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dr.KennethNoisewaterDecember 21, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Well, crap. I wish you'd made these earlier...before I sent out my dumb snowflake one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. zombie rotten mcdonaldDecember 21, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    The challenge is combining zombies with snowflakes....tastefully.

    ReplyDelete
  5. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©December 21, 2011 at 9:28 PM

    I wish I had sent some of those, tigris. Awesome!
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  6. Smut ClydeDecember 22, 2011 at 12:26 AM

    Zombie snowflakes.

    I believe that tigris owes us several days of Advent calendar.

    ReplyDelete
  7. fishDecember 22, 2011 at 5:35 AM

    I am holding out for the Knecht Ruprecht card. Beating children that refuse to pray.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Dragon-King WangchuckDecember 22, 2011 at 6:56 AM

    SRSLY? Okay, since all y'all are leaving teh obvious joke and I ain't to proud to pass on something so easy (as your moms will attest):

    Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!

    P.S. Baptismal font. Hee hee.

    ReplyDelete
  9. tigrisDecember 22, 2011 at 7:21 AM

    twenty-two

    ReplyDelete
  10. VonnieDecember 22, 2011 at 8:41 AM

    Pirate Santa is the best.
    I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.

    ReplyDelete
  11. fishDecember 22, 2011 at 10:07 AM

    I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.

    Um.

    Nevermind.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Smut ClydeDecember 22, 2011 at 10:53 AM

    P.S. Baptismal font. Hee hee.

    Go directly to hell. Do not pass God. Do not collect $200.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Substance McGravitasDecember 22, 2011 at 11:03 AM

    Prepare to be Yulehauled.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Big Bad Bald BastardDecember 22, 2011 at 4:25 PM

    Pirate Santa is the best.
    I'd happily settle on the naughty list for good for that one.

    Pirate Santa runs afoul of Rule 34.

    ReplyDelete
  15. El ManquécitoDecember 23, 2011 at 9:02 AM

    Wow, tigris does post here. I thought that was just wishful thinking on Smut's part.

    ReplyDelete
  16. M. BouffantDecember 25, 2011 at 12:13 PM

    eight scurvy reindeer

    Why the Rudolph denial?

    ReplyDelete
  17. Smut ClydeDecember 25, 2011 at 2:16 PM

    eight scurvy reindeer
    Seven keelhauled mutineers...

    ReplyDelete
  18. Smut ClydeDecember 25, 2011 at 8:20 PM

    ...and a treasure map with X to mark the spot.

    ReplyDelete