Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Honest, I never touched the Dream Control machine


EVER DREAM THESE BUTTOCKS?
every night throughout the world hundreds of people dream about these buttocks

History
In January 2006 in New York, the patient of a well-known psychiatrist draws the buttocks of a man that have been repeatedly appearing in her dreams. In more than one occasion that man has given her advice on her private life. The woman swears she has never seen the buttocks in her life.

That portrait lies forgotten on the psychiatrist's desk for a few days until one day another patient recognizes those buttocks and says that the man has often visited him in his dreams. He also claims he has never seen those buttocks in his waking life.

The psychiatrist decides to send the portrait to some of his colleagues that have patients with recurrent dreams. Within a few months, four patients recognize the buttocks as a frequent presence in their own dreams. All the patients refer to them as TEH BUTTOCKS.

From January 2006 until today, at least 2000 people have claimed they have seen these buttocks in their dreams, in many cities all over the world: Los Angeles, Berlin, Sao Paulo, Tehran, Beijing, Rome, Barcelona, Stockholm, Paris, New Dehli, Moskow etc.

21 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

In the first place, one should not have a tattoo of a lobster for one's tramp stamp, & one certainly shouldn't have it done by a tat "artist" too messed up to center it or focus it.

WV: nalgi. Missed it by one vowel.

tigris said...

Huh, those aren't the buttocks in my dreams... can there be multiple dream buttocks?

Substance McGravitas said...

bum Bum BUUUM!

mikey said...

Y'know, I once dated a waitress who could carry a shot in her cleavage (and never spill a drop!), but I'd REALLY like to meet someone who can balance a handgun on their butt-cheek.

In addition to the immense buttocks-balancing skills this would demonstrate, it by definition says something intriguing about the buttocks in question...

fish said...

Those buttocks are getting in the way of my dream.

Jennifer said...

I am disappointed. I thought this post was about dreamy buttocks.

Smut Clyde said...

TEH BUTTOCKS are a nightmare from which I am trying to awake.

Jennifer said...

Those byootocks are reminding me of thundra's glowy orbs...

Another Kiwi said...

O ghostly glowing buns
from some far off planet
near another sun.
With glimmery shadows, I'm possessed
by greenish hue, I'm perplexed.
Is this some baleful animus
a haunting gluteus maximus.

Disclaimer: I don't know who greenish Hugh is.

Jennifer said...

That poem is crying out for a moon reference.

fish said...

Is this some baleful animus

I think you misspelled anus.

Another Kiwi said...

fish gets all hi-brow as usual

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Huh, those aren't the buttocks in my dreams... can there be multiple dream buttocks?

You can always re-watch the men's cross country skiing.

tigris said...

Today's sprints were, in fact, yummylicious.

tigris said...

Also, the above buttocks are NOTHING like the taut, spandex-clad United Nations of Nates as seen earlier. That looks more like the bag of cats.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

fish gets all hi-brow as usual

You know, pollution and invasive species are threatening the native fish in Lake Michigan, which I have viewed as a bad thing.

I am re-thinking this position.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

NEVER MIND THE BUTTOCKS!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

You know, pollution and invasive species are threatening the native fish in Lake Michigan, which I have viewed as a bad thing.

Well, there's always lampricide!

Smut Clyde said...

I might have expected tigris to use a gnarly dialect word like "nates". I bet she also says 'oxter' instead of 'armpit'.

Lawnguylander said...

It's a cautionary dream and I've had it several times. I think it's telling me that if I stare into the buttocks long enough the buttocks will fire a couple of rounds into my junk.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

So, the Avatar Porn makes it to Riddled.