Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Monsters feeding on themselves

The sophisticated critics in the Nuremberg Chronicle were not impressed when "Rhinoceros Whale vs. Mega Eurypterid Sea-Scorpion" was released in 1604. The plot was risible, they said; the human characters were two-dimensional cut-outs, seemingly devoid of personality or any motivation other than to explain the back-story; the special effects for the eponymous monsters betrayed the cheapness of the budget.
None of this made any difference to the audience, who queued for hours for tickets outside the Nuremberg Two-Dimensional Cut-out Theatre.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Motivation?

What sea dragon doesn't crave a little fresh lobster every now and then?
~

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Didn't that movie star Debbie Gibson?

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Reading the post before commenting is for breathers.

Jennifer said...

It would have done better had they marketed with action figures in the medieval meals.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

the human characters were two-dimensional cut-outs

One might even say they were wooden.

merc said...

That washed up dracorhino is in the Hobbit, Sir Pete picked him her up for a song wasted outside a takeaways in Otahuhu,, looking for that sea scorp who it never got over the loving thereof.

inessi, without sense.

guitarist manqué said...

Seagoon: "But we can't take the theatre to France! People would talk."

Griptype-Thynne: "Neddy. We're going to leave a cardboard replica."

Another Kiwi said...

Dear old Spotty the rhinodino. He was a real trooper.
Hey Guitarist a Goons reference, a chocolate fish to you, sir.

Substance McGravitas said...

Pretty sick putting those things on some sandbar somewhere. Were any animals harmed in the making of this whatchamacallit?

guitarist manqué said...

a chocolate fish to you, sir.

Thanks, I'm trying to give them up. Would you like a photograph of Queen Victoria?


wv: bachos No thanks.

Smut Clyde said...

Nothing wrong with sandbars, Mr McGravitas.

Another Kiwi said...

Would you like a photograph of Queen Victoria?
Thanks, care for a gorilla?