Saturday, April 9, 2011

There aren't enough points on the chicken

This is what happens when synæsthetes become celebrity chefs. They insist that every dish has its own ideal platonic shape so that serving it in any other geometry detracts from the flavour.

I can cope with triangular omelettes and snowflake-fractal pizza, but why should sausages always be sausage-shaped?

Then there's the whole "colour palate" business.

UPDATE: Bonus Möbius pasta [for ckc (not kc) in comments].

36 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...mobius omelettes - how much?

M. Bouffant said...

Non-sausage sausages are much more difficult to shove up one's nose.

ckc (not kc) said...

¨

Smut Clyde said...

Lamb biryani should be moulded into a perfect sphere so you can apply the Banach-Tarski decomposition and obtain two helpings of lamb biryani.

Substance McGravitas said...

All that crap about square meals is explained.

ckc (not kc) said...

Make sure that you understand this last line, because it is at the core of the proof.

...can't I just get a refill on my coffee??

Smut Clyde said...

Insert joke here about millefeuille pastry and a 3D manifold.

ckc (not kc) said...

(I've never been nagged by Wikipedia before - it was a shock.)

3D?

vacuumslayer said...

I think chicken should be shaped like cow. Failing that, the sexy ladeez on mudflaps.

ckc (not kc) said...

...my turn?

I would like the non-vegan mushrooms on toast, please.

Smut Clyde said...

I asked for an omelette without the extras and they served it as a projective plain.

mikey said...

Ok, umm, yeah, lemme get the omelet too, gently folded and can you sprinkle a little Melange on that?

Yeah, and a glass of milk.

Thanks...

ckc (not kc) said...

One can construct a coordinate "ring"—a so-called planar ternary ring (not a genuine ring)—corresponding to any projective plane in the combinatorial definition. A planar ternary ring need not be a field or division ring, and there are many projective planes that are not constructed from a division ring. They are called non-Desarguesian projective planes and are an active area of research.
Algebraic properties of this planar ternary coordinate ring turn out to correspond to geometric incidence properties of the plane. For example, Desargues' theorem corresponds to the coordinate ring's being obtained from a division ring, while Pappus's theorem corresponds to this ring's being obtained from a commutative field. Alternative, not necessarily associative, division algebras like the octonions correspond to Moufang planes.


...hmmm...yes, just the check, please.

tigris said...

Torricelli's trumpet = NOT a bottomless cup of coffee, hmph. Sweet toroids are good, though.

Captcha goes POING.

ckc (not kc) said...

...although octonions do sound good - are they deep fried?

Another Kiwi said...

You DON'T point this chicken

ckc (not kc) said...

You know those octonions?.. they are (so I've "learned") related to exceptional Lie groups ...with an election underway hereabouts, I think I'll keep my eye out for them.

Smut Clyde said...

Oh yay, people are providing free downloads of "Mathematics Made Difficult".
This could end badly.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

11$ for pancakes?

Hmph!!!
~

ckc (not kc) said...

This could end badly.

What do you mean, "end"?

Smut Clyde said...

This could converge upon a limit badly.

ckc (not kc) said...

I was thinking "badly begun is half done"

ckc (not kc) said...

my motto, by the way (on Wednesdays)

TruculentandUnreliable said...

Insert some lazy-ass joke about pi here.

ckc (not kc) said...

...chicken should be shaped like cow.

...well, from my recent experience with Wikipedia, I'm sure that you can easily find a mathematician to assure you that they are.

Smut Clyde said...

Torricelli's trumpet

This is what the chicken chef should have aimed for if he was "trying to keep the volume down", rather than a sphere.

ckc (not kc) said...

...I've been known to approach a pie.

tigris said...

This could converge upon a limit badly.

No oblique comments about my asymptote.

mikey said...

Torricelli's trumpet

Yeah, sure, if'n you want.

Me? I've never had the courage to pick fresh mushrooms...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

but why should sausages always be sausage-shaped?

And why can't meatballs be cubes?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I would like the non-vegan mushrooms on toast, please.

One order of "ant-zombifying fungi" coming up!

Willy said...

but why should sausages always be sausage-shaped?

As a person whose name is synonymous with sausage, I can tell you sausage isn't always wrapped in a pig's intestines.

Smut Clyde said...

No oblique comments about my asymptote.
If The Great Gazoogle is to be believed, no-one has ever asked the question "Does this [X] make my asymptote look big?"

fish said...

I am pretty sure folding a plain omlette is the principle behind warp drive.

vacuumslayer said...

...well, from my recent experience with Wikipedia, I'm sure that you can easily find a mathematician to assure you that they are.

My not being a mathematician myself, I'm an easy mark.

It was cold here yesterday. Now I'm doubting global warming.

tigris said...

If The Great Gazoogle is to be believed, no-one has ever asked the question "Does this [X] make my asymptote look big?"

And only one for "make my asymptote look fat"! Zounds! Of course, the response is "only for very large values of you."