Sunday, May 22, 2011

Hovercraft, now without eels.

A lot of us watch the sport onna teevee with the sound off. This can be be for any number of reasons from pathological hatred of the commentators and their mindless recitation of the one thing they know about the game:
"They should be standing up closer to the batsman".
"Er, it's cycling, Brian."
"Yes, I know, that's why they should be closer".
Or it could be that Mrs.Cat is asleep on the remote and you go and get it.
A simple way has been found to put the fans back in to fantastic sports commentary by Fox Sports. Automatically Generated Transcripts eg from the latest debacle to feature Westham United:
"what led to a woeful season from Winston you know ninety descendants it would it up to -- for the first time in over a decade. But I -- school. Three do. This was entertaining stuff for the pressure off both teams that I was already really into the tackles. Sentiment headed outside to submit ten -- for the opportunity to put things -- Coming to the rescue. -- also didn't looking into. The scenes. This match. Until today and some of begins this. Which sees who's won seven behind him. Publicity there as well opening goal was still quite -- incentive within the -- headed. -- the -- Maybe school's -- pain in the seventeenth -- Didn't he school needs to us over the season pretty decent of its people. And second. Of the green. Flat footed. Sentiment to their advantage early in the second vocalist and -- the -- play -- the pocket. It put tiny bit stiff back since signal. Strike and so it's green. He's cool to -- for sentiment. Jason at best which took two in the pretty neat. Mean Sweeney's hit the black cats. Right to the dead -- would have hates having drops they scored a third receiver with their own state substitute. -- Disappointing in the case I don't today powerful performance and allows for -- unique -- close. And at least a game ending an 83 new defeat."
Which says it all really.
Just remember, as the site points out:
 Automatically Generated Transcript (may not be 100% accurate).
I do think that they need to do something about the violence in the game though.
e.g.
 Mean Sweeney's hit the black cats. Right to the dead
There's no place for that in the modern game.

19 comments:

mikey said...

The scenes. This match. Until today and some of begins this.

Thats...Beautiful.

Fucking beautiful...

Smut Clyde said...

Voice recognition software has attained sentience.

Substance McGravitas said...

"83 NUDE defeat" you idiot computer.

Smut Clyde said...

The scenes. This match. Until today and some of begins this.
The speech recognition software is STEALING FROM BECKETT.

Another Kiwi said...

Sure you don't mean Beckham? it's got some of the same patterns to it.
This was entertaining stuff for the pressure off both teams that I was already really into the tackles.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"83rd NEWT defeat", he vouchsafed.
~

fish said...

STEALING FROM BECKETT.


Samuel or Josh?

J— said...

"It’s difficult to understand quite what Grant was actually doing at the club, and it’s equally difficult to imagine him getting another Premier League job soon, having taken consecutive sides to 20th place in the Premier League, after the failure at Portsmouth last season."

Go for hat trick with FC Black Cats.

Kathleen said...

so that was 3Bulls!'s game commentary, right?

Trevor said...

Ah. The Python Hungarian Phrasebook. You have beautiful thighs.

vacuumslayer said...

Mean Sweeney's hit the black cats.

That is mean.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The speech recognition software is STEALING FROM BECKETT.

Or Criswell!

Smut Clyde said...

Just noticed, missing comments finally back.

Jennifer said...

A lot of us watch the sport onna teevee with the sound off.

Add some music and you've got Stoner Vision!

mikey said...

Bingo!

We have a winner@!@

With HD and great big flat screens, we have reached a point where the idiots with the microphones serve NO purpose whatsoever. They have nothing to contribute. They don't improve the experience, or make the game better.

Ahh. But music. It's amazing. Coupled with the inherent ability of humans to find patterns in random noise, a good music library on shuffle playing as the soundtrack to a game is perfect. It always seems as if some ethereal intelligence is controlling the playback, and the songs are either smoothly synchronized or jarringly ironic.

Stoners discovered it. But now even white people and christianists have it. And that's to the better...

Another Kiwi said...

Stoner TeeVee might explain the Automatically Generated Transcript.
Watching TV with the sound off enables silliness in this house as people pretend to be news reporters.

Substance McGravitas said...

I kind of like the idiots talking about nothing. I listen to sports radio when driving sometimes and I find the arguments about nothing soothing.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Stoners discovered it.

Dude! You just start "Dark Side" when the clock starts, and it's like the music is SYNCHRONIZED!!

In Packerland, we have a couple of radio announcers, Sam and Max, and it's always much preferable to listen to them call a game rather than the empty suits. Especially if they are drinking.

fish said...

Yeah, I used to listen to the radio announcers in Boston and in Baltimore when I watched the games. They were awesome.