At my back I always hear Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near OH FECK THAT'S NOT A CHARIOT¹

Survival is not easy for a species named after a variety of red-haired double-hearted skinwalking Romanian vampire. So Sirocco the parrophiliac Kākāpō was sent on an ambassadorial mission to the human race, most recently to Wellington... to grant exclusive audiences to a stream of visitors and impress them with the feathered loveability of his kind and maybe hump a few heads when he had the chance. The theory was that the charismatic-megafauna status of Kākāpō would increase as people realise -- with first-hand experience of his proclivities dripping down the back of the neck-- that as well as flightlessness and binocular vision and a dance-floor mating culture, his species and ours also share a tendency to develop strange fetishes.
Now Sirocco is en route home to Maud Island, where the only outlets for his lust will be members of his own kind. He will turn bored and bitey.² But never fear, an animal behaviourist hopes to pray away the gay redirect his urges to a plushy owl using macadamia-nut-related bribery. PROGRESS!

Were the psittacine sexual-reorientation therapist an American,³ one would wonder whether she was masking more-or-less successfully suppressed head-humping urges of her own.

¹ Also wingèd and hurrying and not a chariot.
² Like Byron, Sirocco is on "Maud, bored and dangerous to gnaw".
³ She is, but NEVER MIND.

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UPDATE I forgot the sponsorship deal:
Smut Clyde drinks Aalborg Dildo Vodka while writing puerile and borderline-misogynist blogposts.

AALBORG DILD Akvavit, er stadig en ren og frisk dildoplevelse, men såvel råvarerne som fremstillingsprocessen er yderligere forfinet, så den fremstår endnu mere elegant end tidligere -- that's what it says on the label, and who am I to disagree?