Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Teste moaning

George Gallup often receives testimonials about unsolicited semen:
Evidence for the antidepressant properties of semen (Gallup, Burch, & Platek, 2002) is also revisited. Bolstered by additional data and unsolicited semen testimonials, it is suggested that semen sampling may be an embedded feature of human courtship and may unwittingly influence mate choice by women.*
I presume that "testimonial" is used here in the extended sense of "court restraining order".

George Gallup and his colleagues have previously incurred ridicule for their theory that women (or "human females" in the parlance of the trade) require regular oral doses of semen to maintain the proper functioning of their ladybrains (because oxytocin).

There is an obvious control study, on whether the benefits also work on males, but no-one has bothered to pursue that line of inquiry.
No antidepressant benefits for Martians
Fortunately Gallup is an Evolutionary Psychologist, and members of the discipline brush off criticism of this kind like semen water off a duck's back... they know that their critics are only negative because our species evolved that way, in the millennia on the savannah when our ancestors enhanced their reproductive fitness by pointing and laughing at evolutionary psychologists.

The other advantage of membership in the evo.psych. fraternity is that knowledge of human physiology and neurochemistry is not a prerequisite; indeed, it may be a disqualifier from the discipline, as such knowledge would impede one's freedom to work out what human behaviour should be like, from first principles, on the sublime refined plane of spherical cows falling in vacuum.

Gallup's original 2002 anecdote-bolstered results are too good for popsci churnalists and enstupidisers to ignore -- they might almost have been targetted for that audience -- and they regularly re-surface, much in the manner of two pints of late-ratted cask-aged Rheinheitsgebotulism.

Alternative title: Alea ejacta est.

1 comment:

Yastreblyansky said...

If there is evidence, however flimsy, that orally administered semen has an anti-depressant effect on human females, I for one would hesitate to criticize it.