Thursday, April 20, 2017

Je vinaigrette rien

"Are you planning to blog about your regrettable pizza?" the Doktorling wanted to know. "All the hipster dads are posting food selfies of their pizza tragedies." So in response to popular demand:
My half (at left) is pumpkin, porcini and black pudden. The yellow-green hemispheres are Cape Gooseberries. Then a merciful veil of grated cheese was drawn over the proceedings.

Since "pineapple and tinned spaghetti" used to be the Doktorling's notion of BEST TOPPINGS EVAH, she is inclined to suspect the Pry Minster of stealing her recipe. Also, when the Pry Minster is on Pizza Duty, does he cut the ham slices into heart shapes with a cookie cutter? I think not. ADVANTAGE SMUT.

Kudos to the Italian Ambassador, who took the Pry Ministerial Pizza Provocation in good spirit and retaliated with a foteaux of a salami pavlova. Hungry now.

Right and below: Artist's impressions of further regrettable dining here at Maison d'Être.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

...and in the manner of Yoalo balladeers -- a manner he recalled vividly -- he gestured with his right hand to illustrate matters of fact, with his left to embellish and indicate things beyond his knowledge

After the recent investigations in France of several farm-based laboratories transforming bovine by-products into Healing Substances, with Lesley Hutchings (purveyor of proteinaceous skin-cream) claiming to be among those arrested, we were all Magog Gog agog, here at the Riddled Conspiracy-Theory Appreciation Club, to see how this persecution of Alt-Med would be subsumed to the Great Culling of Holistic Quacks story-line.
Oglaf reconstruction
of farm laboratory

The way the Great Culling narrative works, any bottom-feeding medscammer who succumbed to heart-attack / jealous partner / disgruntled client / party drugs is retconned into a victim of wet-work agents from Big Pharma / World Gubblement / the Rothschilds, bumped off (yet strangely there seem to be no fewer of them) to suppress their knowledge of the CURE for cancer / autism / psoriasis. The tale grew in the telling as it was recited around campfires in the Sepulchral Voice, and the death-toll typically numbers from 60 to 80, depending on the narrator's sense of the audience's credulity and appetite for outrage. One hears it now from everyone in the business, for not to fear for one's life would amount to an admission that one knows too little to threaten the Elite Master-Plan. And Lesley was no exception:
I just am thankful that I do not live in a country where handguns are routinely carried, in the USA the outcome for doctors involved with gcmaf in 2015 was much worse, with many dying under suspicious circumstances.
I am glad to be out of it alive. They will launch their new product at any cost to human life.
One can easily forget that the whole ubiquitous yarn is less than two years old -- it only entered the collective grifting repertoire when a serial charlatan (Jeff Bradstreet) discovered that his succession of autism scams had become the subject of federal curiosity, and promptly ventilated his ribcage, perhaps to let out some of the bullshit. His peers seized upon his demise to embroider their own income-enhancing fabrications -- for what more fitting way to commemorate Bradstreet's career than to coopt it for fraud? -- and talked the suckers out of $8000 to fund a vapourware Ed-Wood-movie account of his assassination.*

Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to read a recent communiqué on l'Affaire de Hutchings from the very heart of Alt-Med [Bradstreet & Lee-Bradstreet, 2017]. Second author there is Candice Lee-Bradstreet, erstwhile distributor of Lesley's MAFactive products, now shifting her loyalty to the new brand "Glycoplus". It is a classic of the genre. It is targetted at a reality-averse, Truther-minded readership and so is punctuated with the worship words FALSE FLAG and FAKE NEWS like Lego pieces embedded in labrador poop... these do not denote meanings or literal false-flag operations like the Gleiwitz provocation, but rather are shibboleths, signaling to the audience that the authors share (a) their disdain for facts and (b) the belief-protecting worldview they assembled in the manner of a caddis-fly case, from fragmentary conspiracy memes stuck together with spittle and bong-hits. Go and read it, the power of Ira Dei the Dragon-onna-string compels you!

I will look at these bejazzled caddis-fly cases until you get back.**

...Just saying, "We have built several business on that principal alone" would make a good punchline for a Keats-&-Chapman joke. In which Keats is found operating a clandestine snake-oil mail-order scam from an office he improvised in the mausoleum of his old headmaster at Greyfriars.

Potential customers are assured that the new suppliers of GlycoPlus creams are above-board, and in fact have been in the business longer than MAFactive and Lesley, who may well have stolen their recipe. The main point, though, is to snatch back the mantle of persecuted victimhood; we learn if Lesley Hutchings was indeed arrested ["We have not been able to verify any of the related facts regarding what happened in France. There was nothing on the International wire service, news or television"], it was not due to illegality of the merchandise, but purely through her incompetence with details of paperwork and packaging ["noncompliance concerns regarding MAF Toothpaste leaking and packaging issues, along with faulty ingredient declarations pertaining to the paste"].

A high-minded tone of dismissive irritation pervades the communiqué, and Candice is having none of Lesley's histrionic paranoia, for she maintains a sense of intellectual ownership and proprietary protectiveness over the whole Great Culling narrative. She wants her readers to use the conspiracy-theory aegis wisely and not extend it over unworthy beneficiaries; perhaps that would wear out the batteries. The cordial tone has gone that prevailed when we first encountered Candice [she had just branched into the proteinaceous skin-cream racket, having previously confined her activities to an organic food MLM and her range of organic vitality bars that are gluten-free, grain-free, GMO-free, nut-free, dairy-free and seemingly devoid of any contents except sawdust and compacted soil]:
I was sent a sample of the cream by the wonderful Lesley Hutchings.  .. I am so thankful to Lesley for her brilliance, her passion and her love for people and her admiration for my wonderful brother in law, Dr. Jeff Bradstreet.  She has truly honored him and his memory with this wonderful cream!**
Anyway, this is perhaps the cream of the jest -- a claim for the brother-in-law's priority in the creation of Magic Yoghurt:
In fact, prior to Jeff’s death we were starting negotiations with him to develop and set up for retail distribution the Bravo yogurt he developed with Dr. Ruggerio
If this were true, then distributing Bravo through the "Reactivated Wellness" webshop would compete with Ruggiero's pre-existing network (Silver Spring Sagl and Les Alpes). Has it occurred to Candice that the person most motivated to remove J. Bradstreet from the scene was in fact Ruggiero himself, impresario of mystical dairy products?

But gratifying though it is to see Ruggiero relegated to the status of Igor the assistant, the sad facts remain forged records show him proclaiming the HIV-clearing powers of Magic Yoghurt back in 2011 when J. Bradstreet was still dabbling in stem-cell scams as his prefered autism exploit. So we must conclude FAKE NEWS!! FALSE FLAG!!... or to translate from the original Truther, "More full of shit than a 10-pound pigeon".
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* Anyone wishing to see Alt-Med Trutherism in its pure, unalloyed glory should hie themselves to Healing Oracle or MotherNature, nominally devoted to spruiking GcMAF, but Amanda Mary Jewell has turned them into full-bore pukefunnels of conspiratorial ideation plagiarised from all across the Loonisphere. The latest Pharma Assassin Death Tolls alternate with evergreens like "Vaccines-as-sterility-drugs", and outrage that anyone might interfere with cervical cancer (which is God's way of smiting sluts).

Truther paranoid style has much in common with Alzheimers... both reveal the victim's innermost personality, liberating it from the constraints of factual consistency in the first instance, and from the behavioural overlay of socialisation in the second. But no-one could have expected that inside every Truther, beneath the fetus-fondling fundamentalism, the kernel belief system would turn out to be anti-semitism.

In the light of AMJ's fixation on the Rothschilds as the centre of the New World Order, her other preoccupation with fetus in the fast-food looks awfully like a dog-whistled form of the old Blood Libel.

[Thx Dora]
** Caddis-fly larvae especially like assembling their conspiracy theories protective cases from gold fragments so that they are prepared for economic collapse.


*** J. Bradstreet himself evidently had no time for MAFactive products, which he regarded as competition "not safe".

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Chocolate Bunday


Do something two or three years in a row, and suddenly it's a sodding Family Tradition that one cannot break without crestfall and shattered expectations. OK THEN.

Here is some more orthodox Easter imagery for the benefit of our visitors of greater piety.

Friday, April 14, 2017

I hear some frightful noises
I don’t go out at night [Harvest moon]

Tickets on Dr Ke$she's still-under-construction anti-gravity pocket-fusion-powered spaceship, for a commemorative tour of Apollo landing sites, are still for sale.
This is not a joke, or a conceptual art performance, it is a genuine scam.
My flabber has never been so ghasted.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Chad reported to us that he had successfully looped the Roto-verter

That was not a sentence I had expected to read on this fine Yuri Gagarin Day.
The organization also received a report from a third party confirming that this was in fact the case. Two of the Trustee’s of Panacea being Ashtweth Palise and Andrew Gardiner personally witnessed the set up through a skype connect camera.
But Looping the Roto-verter never ends well, with lenders turning away because shadowy agents have fostered the impression that you're a delusional no-hoper:
Chad was in the process of trying to acquire finances to develop the open source Roto-verter technology. The organization had offers there waiting to help him, but we were not quick enough, Chad reported the following to one of our helping engineers:
I have no resources and am in danger of losing everything. I believe that “they" got to my money people and I now need a job so I can eat. I don’t know exactly what happened but some rich people got their bank accounts fooled with so I'm S.O.L. they won't even return or answer my calls.

Previously another open source Panacea affiliated engineer Brian Prater from the US successfully looped the RV. Brian experienced similar interference and threats. Brian like Chad is now currently in a financial crisis and lost everything.
I suspect the work of Red Lectroids under the direct command of Lord John Whorfin; there is nothing they will not do for possession of the Oscillation Overthruster!

The background here is Anni Diamond's scammer-jamboree in November 2016 [the judges will also accept "conman corroboree"]. The idea, it seems, is that it's a time-consuming rigmarole to track down cancer-cure charlatans and prevention grifters and let them drain your savings -- a steep learning cure -- with inevitable disappoinment each time you put faith in someone and they turn out not to be fraudulent after all. So Anni brings together a hand-screened panel of bullshit artists whose mendacity she can personally affirm, and it makes perfect sense to pay AUD$99 to meet them if they are tied down and I have blanket immunity SHUT UP SMUT.

I am no entirely sure who awarded the certificate behind Anni Diamond's status as "Certified Holistic Cancer Educator". But at least she is not just some enthusiastic amateur; she is qualified to take your money and steer you away from actual cancer treatments and diagnostics, into the maze of twisty little passages, all alike predatory mountebanks. That's reassuring.
Navaan from Oglaf is an ordinary decent literal
vampire who just pretends to be a quack for
the sake of the blood-letting opportunities


Anyway, skipping over the alluring distractions of "australia's authority on EMF, how to protect yourself from your mobile phone, wifi, smart meters"... and "The benefits of lymphatic drainage"... and the no-more-mammograms pitch from the thermography saleswoman who has forgotten her own disclaimer that "Thermography is not a replacement for a mammogram"... and the proud sponsorship from Verita Life Clinics¹... what catches the eye is
Ashtweth Palise - Authority on black Salve.

"Black salve" being a corrosive concoction of toxic plants [or concoctions, there is no standard recipe] that people use to burn off their faces or extremities.

Following the link through to Black Salve Authority's home site, it turns out that convincing people to burn holes in themselves is only the least of "Ashtweth" (Glen Andrew) Palise's gigs, for he is mainly about the FREE ENERGY and the PERPETUAL MOTION machines, dozens of them, hydraulic and electrical and mechanical. It is a fractal rabbit hole made up of little rabbit holes. There are so many different ways of tapping into FREE ENERGY that a new perpetual motion machine is invented every time an earthquake in a hardware shop shakes the wires and plastic tubing together... but they are all SUPPRESSED by the ESTABLISHMENT and its"laws of physics", PHYSICS IS NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!
I'm off to loop the Roto-verter, BRB.
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Outtake #1. Previous encounter with Anni Diamond's sugar-daddies Verita Life Clinics here. Originally stem-cell grifters with a focus on harvesting suckers from newly-wealthy Asian markets, they leapt aboard the GcMAF scamwagon as it passed. Medical Director is a naturopath who is reluctant to stay in one jurisdiction for too long, and who boasts of acquiring different mountebankrupt modalities in the course of his travels, as if still searching for one that works:
[Richard DeAndrea] has studied and practiced everything from traditional folk medicine in Gabon, Africa to hyperbaric oxygen therapies in the US , peptide stem cell therapies in Asia and Intravenous Laser therapy in Germany.
Dr. DeAndrea formerly served as the Medical Director at Regenerative Medical Solutions in Bangkok, Thailand in a teaching position known to the National Innovation Association.
Presently Dr. DeAndrea is the Medical Director of Verita Life, an Integrative &Regenerative Bio-Enhancement Center, an Institute that focuses on physical, mental /emotional and energetic soulful enhancement of the human being.
DeAndrea further assumed the title of "Professor" to become "senior medical consultant" to "Lab-DOM" -- another band of bogus-stem-cell scammers farming the rich fields of suckers in South-East Asia, but with faux-Suisse stylings. Thus we find Verita Clinics / Regenerasia pimping Lab-DOM's authentic Alpine-themed placenta products. It goes without saying that Lab-DOM are also aboard the GcMAF scamwagon.

"Before all that he was Holistic Health Director at TRIA Integrative Wellness Center; before relocating his operations from San Francisco to Bangkok he was noted for his alternative AIDS cures, Oxygen Bar and 21-Day Detox-related activities."

This has been Episode #84 of "Classy people one encounters in the GcMAF industry".
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Outtake #2. Ashtweth is not alone. What is it with Alt-Med shitweasels and magical-thinking Free Energy fuckknuckles, other than a shared conspiratorial world-view, that brings them together? It must be a tradition, or an old charter or something. Recall the suppression-of-GcMAF narrative, in which some toxic rando interrupts Amanda Mary's stock-clearance sale to advertise "plasmaproduction.org" from the Ke$he Foundation:
[h/t/ Malarkey]
DO NOT READ that Plasma Production wibble. I tried, but there was so much concentrated stupid that my eyes rolled out of their sockets -- another letter of complaint is on its way to the Tleilaxu Corporation -- and my brain made its escape through the holes. It is another fractal rabbit-hole. Tickets on sale now for a seat on Dr Ke$he's spaceship [still under construction] for a commemorative tour of Apollo landing sites, and earth-shaking revelations predicting a Magnitude-25 earthquake, and cures for all ailments, and he's the Ersatz Haderach, and also he insults Belgians. It gives "gibberish" a bad name. And yet people give him money for his pocket anti-gravity plasma fusion reactors which don't work.

There are many unknown forces in the universe, beyond the ken of conventional physics, and one of them is "crank magnetism".