Friday, February 12, 2016

Valentine's Day

I am quietly confident that the Frau Doktorin will be turned on by my Sexy Banana-Slug Costume.

Friday, February 5, 2016

Those are worship words! Riddled worship! You will not speak them!

Acharya Shilak Ram, of Acharya Academy (Haryana), is working the Riddled side of the street. This aggression, will it stand? [spoiler: NO]

Publish your Research Papers in International registered and refereed (Print) research journals:
“Chintan” research journal (ISSN :2229-7227) (Impact Factor: 2.38)
“Pramāna” research journal (ISSN: 2249-2976) (Impact Factor: 2.87)
“Drashta” research journal (ISSN: 2277-2480) (Impact Factor: 2.64)
“Hindu” research journal (ISSN: 2348-0114)
“Arya” research journal (ISSN: 2348-876X)
“ABSURD” International Research Journal for English Literature (ISSN: 2319-703X),
“Swadeshi” International Research Journal for Hindi Literature (ISSN: 2319-7048)
“Justice” International Journal for Law (ISSN: 2320-1665),
“Vision” International Journal for Management and Commerce (ISSN: 2320-1673),
“Darshan” International Research Journal of Philosophy and Yoga (ISSN: 2320-8325) and
“Awareness”: International Research Journal of Education (ISSN 2320-8333).

Imagine my relief to find from the main portal that only Chintan, Pramāna and Drashta Quarterly Research Journals have archives, with ABSURD and the others remaining in a more refined or ethereal level of reality.
The Impact Factors they boast come from the International Society for Research Activity (ISRA), which is not well-thought-of in wider academic circles. Otherwise, no criticism of the journals is intended. Kudos to Acharya Shilak Ram for (a) giving potential authors fair warning that promotion and tenure committees may not rate for their contributions:
The research papers should be written according to RESEARCH METHODOLOGY.

Although this is an international registered research journal but in any case or circumstances if any university/college/institute/society denies to accept or recognise author's/research scholar's published research papers in the journal, then it will not be the responsibility of Editor, Publisher, Management, Editorial Board, Referee or Subject Experts.
and (b) circulating his invitation-to-publish through non-spammy channels.
So the publications are not annoying anyone, and are only brought to your attention because I was looking at the CV of the Editor-in-Chief of IJMER, the International Journal of Blink-Tag Websites... which is an unrelated journal... except that on his CV, the IJMER Editor-in-Chief boasts of belonging to the editorial boards of all the Acharya Academy journals (including the ones that are purely aspirational in nature). We can only sympathise with the level of competition and the desperation for credentials that prevail in South Asian academia.

The Economic Development Minister took it on the chin, as it were

Further comment is unnecessary difficult.

Steven Joyce hit by sex toy thrown by protester at Waitangi

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

'I saw something unspeakable and indescribable in the woodshed,' said Aunt Ada Doom, fretfully moving her great head from side to side

A Riddled Book Club report:

Clearly the authors are heavily indebted to H.P. Lovecraft. A once-flourishing dairy farm is struck by an inexplicable creeping malaise, a glacial moraine murrain, with the cows succumbing one by one to paresis and physical decay... the plot is essentially that of "The Color Out of Space" with "meteor-borne insubstantial, ultra-spectral life-draining entity" replaced throughout by "GMO maize".
Effects of Bt176 maize
Structurally it is also the same story, with a scholarly narrator piecing together the extant documents to reconstruct events in a faux-clinical style of feigned dispassion. In an echo of Lovecraft's pseudo-bibliographic inventions, a cryptic Annex fills the place of the Necronomicon and the Pnakotic Fragments, frequently cited but nowhere in evidence, leaving the reader to wonder whether it exists outside the narrator's fevered imagination.
The malaise spreads to the farmer himself. Increasingly truculent, he rejects generous offers of assistance from the feed supplier, sues them, loses, and is imprisoned after violence against his family.

One might also trace the influence of Gibbons' "Cold Comfort Farm" in all its rural squalor:

The story is not a great departure for second author Séralini, a recognised contributor in the field of "agricultural cosmic horror". His earlier works in a similar vein, published in small niche presses, are in many cases no longer in print. For this latest production, he has turned to a small Nigeria-based literary journal...

I have been apprised of the fact that this paper was not intended as fiction, and that Glöckner and Séralini were not knowingly influenced by Lovecraft or Gibbons, although of course Narrativium and morphogenetic fields work their magic behind the scenes as they shape our lives into recognisable tropes and plot arcs.

But if Séralini had done his homework in the workings of Narrative, he would have thought of magic shops, and leprechauns' gold, and the snows of yesterday, and in particular their proclivity for vanishing when you go back to look for them. He called a press conference to proclaim his findings, directing the GMO-phobic masses to the Scholarly Journal of Agricultural Science for the details... but the SJAS had folded its tents for a moonlight flit... leaving only a journal-shaped hole in the Interweb. And let me note in passing that if you entrap Michael O'Grady and he offers you a pot of Snows-of-Yesterday in exchange for his freedom, DO NOT TRUST HIM, for the green-clad wee gobshite has pissed in it, or so I hear from a friend.

Séralini assured Retraction Watch that he had conducted due diligence in his choice of vanity websites (it is not clear whether he consulted Jeffrey Beall's list of predatory publishers as a source of options), and spent his institution’s funds prudently, with Scholarly Journals impressing him with its professional standards and value for money:
Of course we could not know before this technical problem with the website of the Journal. I did not have problems with this Journal existing since a long time, being referenced, very efficient in corrections / proofs / editing. The price to publish color figures and raw data on line was really comparable to others.
He has convinced himself that if the site lapsed through non-renewal of the domain, that is only because the popularity of the paper and the storm of downloads broke the intertubes:
The papers are joined and are not retracted because a website is not available, possibly because of too many international openings of it.
In the ideal world Séralini would have been hoaxed by an international team of confidence tricksters operating a sophisticated sting worthy of a heist movie. Alas, our reality is as inadequate as ever, and the plot is more in keeping with the first act of a Coen-brothers film... the culprit being a young hustler working from an e-mail cafe, a teenager with dreams of escaping the poverty of the Nigerian Delta and building a better life for himself using money from gullible numpties.

It was educational to encounter Sylvester Idoge. Such is the level of other-worldly naivety that hold sway at Riddled, I was not previously aware of the Courier Delivery scam, one of his exercises in phishing fraud. Most of Idoge's Interweb presence consists of bogus bank websites for the "Log in to confirm your account details" spam.

By way of sophisticated web-forensic tools like "g**gle" and "whois", we find him (variously calling himself Slim Sly and Sleekee Sly) lurking behind the shabby painted canvas of BNP ParibasBanco de España, Royal Bank of Canada, Jordan International Bank and the Jordan Bank online, the banks of Texas and of Ghana, and the Cooperative Bank, and many more but BORED NOW. Not to forget the Bluegate Credit Union, also legal firms in Spain and the UK for the inevitable 419 scams.* As Slimsly123, Sylvester Idoge touts for work as a hacker and shares pr0n videos.

But he has other ventures into the wonderful world of high-end academic publishing -- notably Apex Journals and Science Journal Publication (as well as appearing on Beall's radar, the latter was featured in Bohannon's trawl for bottom-feeding trash). These two have a few months still to run on their domain lease, if Séralini is seeking a replacement showcase for his GMO opuscule. But they are exercises in phishing for passwords as well as publication-fee extraction vehicles, so he would be well-advised to check his institution's bank balance.
Mutant cow learning to surf

Saturday, January 30, 2016

The truth about global warming

Apparently it's caused by quantifying magnetic field changes. Things were fine until we started measuring.

...The vanity-publishing scammers at SCIRP are onto a good thing with Michael Persinger (whom FSM preserve) of Ontario. They published a first piece of junk science last year, but because the publisher's peer-review process consists of waiting for the cheque to clear, a not-unimportant error slipped through, over-estimating the climate-changing energy available from geomagnetism:
Vares and Persinger state this value as 2.1 x 10¹³ J, which is too small by 12 orders of magnitude
(boldface mine caused by changes in the Earth's magnetic field).
This error being noted, SCIRP profit from a second junk publication correcting the first (by postulating "recondite mechanisms" to provide the missing energy).

I hasten to add that "recondite" is not a variety of piezoelectric mineral. Here is a recondite mechanism, and it is mine. Persinger has previously shown that:
  1. The Earth's atmosphere is functionally equivalent to the human brain, with lightning activity in one paralleling axonal discharges in the other.
  2. Our brains emit more ultra-weak biophotons when we visualise illumination.
THEREFORE global warming is caused by the atmosphere's own consciousness dwelling on thoughts of warmth (causing emission of photons in the infrared band), and can only be remedied by nudging planetary cognition in a more gelid direction, perhaps by surrounding the planet by an orbiting network of giant speakers and blasting it with suitably chill-out music.

Friday, January 29, 2016

The tenants arrive here and are carried along the corridor on a conveyor belt in extreme comfort, past murals depicting Mediterranean scenes, towards the rotating knives. The last twenty feet of the corridor are heavily soundproofed. The blood pours down these chutes

Bribery: We're doin it rong.
The New Zealand Government still intends to give a $3 million abattoir to Saudi Arabia [...]
But Mr Key said the abattoir would still be sent.
"We don't have any plans to change what we're doing in that area, it's not to the Saudi government per se, it's to an investor and it's the establishment of an agricultural hub in Saudi Arabia."
Saudi law prevents private ownership of slaughterhouses so the New Zealand-funded abattoir will be given to the Saudi government - which will then lease it back to the Saudi businessman, Hamood Al-Ali Al-Khalaf, on whose farm it will be built. [...]
The abattoir is to be delivered to his farm in the Saudi desert as part of the government's multi-million dollar deal to placate him.
To sum up (for those who weren't paying attention):
The NZ government is subsidising their impoverished Saudi counterparts to set up a sheep farm, in the middle of the desert, to compete with NZ agricultural exports.
It is not entirely clear what purpose the abattoir will serve, since sheep sent to the desert in previous phases of the bribery campaign keep dying in sandstorms (I am not making this up). But a member of that regime continues to block a friendlier trade deal -- despite the $9 million we have already paid him in cash and in kind -- leaving us no
choice but to keep paying him more.

It is not as if the Saudi despots lack slaughterhouse expertise and need New Zealand assistance. Can't they just declare their sheep to have “broken allegiance with the ruler”, or be guilty of gnostical turpitude or something?