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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Gardening with AK

 
It is always the same when it comes to time to harvest the Peasemold Nonesuch apples, a variety specifically developed by Taq polymerase research in the laboratories of "Riddled Gentenics" (no spell checkers back in the day).
From no one wanting to help old AK in pruning, tying up, binding over and wintlestippling, suddenly its all hands on board for harvesting. 
This photo shows the sort of problem we get, people dressing up in togas (for some bloody reason that no one has ever explained to me), tigris explaining to me why an apple is like the fecking universe, merc and Smut having an argument about where the apples get stacked and how many go in each box, Evangeline van Holsteren and her idiot boy friend picking FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ORCHARD even though it has been explained to them, seven times and Greenish Hugh not getting the concept of picking the apples and leaving the tree behind.
No wonder I have thrown my tools down, possibly it would be better to take them right away from me.
But we will crush the Peasemolds in the Gruntfuttock and make cider that becomes the base of this years Christmas Ale.
Int nature grand?
at

34 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 3:34 PM

    58 to a box, no argument.

    ReplyDelete
  2. ckc (not kc)March 15, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Your garden seems very crowded.

    ReplyDelete
  3. vacuumslayerMarch 15, 2011 at 3:49 PM

    Not wanting to seem dumb, I googled "winterstippling"

    Still feel pretty dumb. Though I love that word.

    Gardening in togas is dumb. You should do it in velour track suits. Everyone knows this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dr.KennethNoisewaterMarch 15, 2011 at 3:52 PM

    Oops...I wanna be louise.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hamish MackMarch 15, 2011 at 3:55 PM

    Oh Louise, that is a classic.
    ckc (not kc) the house is more crowded.
    merc, always pushing the envelope or apple box, gotta love it

    ReplyDelete
  6. mikeyMarch 15, 2011 at 4:09 PM

    Y'know, AK, I gotta say, the carpets in your orchard are quite lovely.

    Elegant, even.

    W/V isn't just a dog. He's barkiest

    ReplyDelete
  7. Big Bad Bald BastardMarch 15, 2011 at 4:16 PM

    I sure could go for a Gen-and-tenic right about now...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Smut ClydeMarch 15, 2011 at 4:19 PM

    Not wanting to seem dumb, I googled "winterstippling"

    Wintlestippling is like pleaching but sounds more technical.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Smut ClydeMarch 15, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    Also, I see what AK does there.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 4:32 PM

    For contractual and other reasons I am not available for comment.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Substance McGravitasMarch 15, 2011 at 4:44 PM

    But we will crush the Peasemolds in the Gruntfuttock and make cider that becomes the base of this years Christmas Ale.

    Sooo...there's an apple for that.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    Microsoft wont touch it.

    bampug, another just awesome word.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hamish MackMarch 15, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    You know I'm an old coot, so there's an apple for that went over my head for about 10 minutes. You MONSTA, sir

    ReplyDelete
  14. JenniferMarch 15, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Too much explaining makes the apples bitter...

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousMarch 15, 2011 at 6:46 PM

    ...but but what's explainin'

    saphole, rockin this wordverf

    ReplyDelete
  16. fishMarch 16, 2011 at 5:06 AM

    I rate for Formation Goat Nagering.

    ReplyDelete
  17. fishMarch 16, 2011 at 5:08 AM

    Sooo...there's an apple for that.

    Microsoft's ale is filled with bugs. And not the kind you see after drinking it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©March 16, 2011 at 6:58 AM

    Silly fish!

    OF COURSE you don't see the bugs after you drink 'em.
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  19. fishMarch 16, 2011 at 7:06 AM

    Thunder has obviously never sampled the Christmas Ale.

    ReplyDelete
  20. tigrisMarch 16, 2011 at 7:54 AM

    This apple is like unto the universe in that both have worms in them. I'm just saying maybe you should consider making Christmas mezcal is all.

    ReplyDelete
  21. mikeyMarch 16, 2011 at 9:45 AM

    Ummm, you wouldn't happen to have some sodium thiopental we could borrow, would you?

    I'm asking for a friend in Georgia..

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dr.KennethNoisewaterMarch 16, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    Sooo...there's an apple for that.

    That made me laugh.


    Hey, AK...don't feel bad. It took me MONTHS, literally MONTHS to figure out that Lawnguylander at SN was supposed to be like "Long Islander." Months. *facepalm*

    ReplyDelete
  23. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©March 16, 2011 at 2:40 PM

    iterally MONTHS to figure out that Lawnguylander at SN was supposed to be like "Long Islander."

    Tee hee!

    Of course, if you had ever heard a Lawn Guyland accent, it would have been easier.
    ~

    ReplyDelete
  24. Smut ClydeMarch 16, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    Am I the only one who's worried about the giant sea-urchin looming up over the horizon?

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousMarch 16, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    Them money grubbing Kina.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Substance McGravitasMarch 16, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    Send the giant sea urchin to the giant sea workhouse. Those things eat a fortune in gruel.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dr.KennethNoisewaterMarch 16, 2011 at 3:11 PM

    Smut, you don't have giant sky urchins in NZ? Geez. Everything IS weird over there.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Smut ClydeMarch 16, 2011 at 3:30 PM

    Also keep it away from the giant enteropneust worm.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hamish MackMarch 16, 2011 at 3:40 PM

    We had Giant Sky Urchins but the Homeless Persons and Urchins (Rugby World Cup inc.)Removal Act was badly worded and passed into law at 2am after Casual Friday Colonic and Kareoke Night in Parliament.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Whale ChowderMarch 16, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    I say to Smut, suck it in, tan it or cover it up. Nobody wants to see your potbelly.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Smut ClydeMarch 16, 2011 at 4:58 PM

    They have killed the great sky urchin
    Who spawned between the stars.

    Soft White Underbellies are an internet tradition.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Smut ClydeMarch 16, 2011 at 5:03 PM

    Also I feel obliged to point out that VS's avatar bears a sinister resemblance to the pluteus form of echinoderm larva.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hamish MackMarch 16, 2011 at 9:08 PM

    I won't be at work today. I went out with the echinoderms and got pluted.

    ReplyDelete
  34. fishMarch 17, 2011 at 3:57 AM

    Happens to us all my friend.

    ReplyDelete