I can smell Zebra, and I can hear Zebra, assuming that Zebra squeals like a pig
The upper entrance to Deliverance. Evidently New Zealanders do not like skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow; or rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim. Ideally the sign would have warned against "tree-trunks all 'sclusively speckled and sprottled and spottled, dotted and splashed and slashed and hatched and cross-hatched with shadows". At least it's not in Papyrus.
At the top of the track is a sign warning about the "dappled lighting conditions". Just along from the warning sign, on the righthand side of the track, is a headless Jesus statue.
I suppose you are holding the headless Jesus image in reserve.
It is the native ground of the vicious dappled were-dachshund, who will gnaw your ankles to the bones then bury those. The warning serves as the placemarker to put on your steel gaiters if you have them and to make sure you have a shovel to dig your feet out if you don't.
It just seems like a weird thing to warn people about
It's only fair to explain that the 'Deliverance' track is sometimes used by mad bastard mountain-bikers who like to career down staircases of rocks and dodge amongst the tree-trunks like slaloms until the lighting deludes them as to the location of the rocks and the trunks. So I won't.
At the top of the track is a sign warning about the "dappled lighting conditions". Just along from the warning sign, on the righthand side of the track, is a headless Jesus statue.
ReplyDeleteI suppose you are holding the headless Jesus image in reserve.
Sure, non-handicapped person, make light of your compatriots afflicted with vampirism.
ReplyDeleteWarning signs are best rendered in Comic Sans.
ReplyDeleteThat may be the best warning sign I've ever seen. I look forward to other gems, like:
ReplyDeleteOptical Illusion Hazard Ahead
or
A Head Ahead
I was read those stories as a wee 'un. What a lovely reminder!
ReplyDeleteHow much didya get for the exerciser?
ReplyDeleteIt is the native ground of the vicious dappled were-dachshund, who will gnaw your ankles to the bones then bury those. The warning serves as the placemarker to put on your steel gaiters if you have them and to make sure you have a shovel to dig your feet out if you don't.
ReplyDeleteAlso: yet another sign that would be much improved by using Logger.
ReplyDeleteIt just seems like a weird thing to warn people about. It'd be like warning people:
ReplyDeleteWARNING: Glorious sunset ahead
or
WARNING: Hot, buttnaked, consequence-free sex with the person you're most attracted to ahead.
Make-a no sense.
It just seems like a weird thing to warn people about
ReplyDeleteIt's only fair to explain that the 'Deliverance' track is sometimes used by mad bastard mountain-bikers who like to career down staircases of rocks and dodge amongst the tree-trunks like slaloms until the lighting deludes them as to the location of the rocks and the trunks.
So I won't.
They make careers out of downing staircases? Wow. They never suggest cool stuff like that to me at the job placement center.
ReplyDelete