210. This is the praise of that beard; the beard which is concealed and most precious in all its dispositions; the beard which neither the superiors nor the inferiors have known; the beard which is the praise of all praise; the beard to which neither man, nor prophet, nor saint hath approached so as to behold it.
211. The beard, whose hairs hang down even unto the breast, white as snow; the adornment of adornments, the concealment of concealments, the truth of all truths.
212. It is said in the "Book of Concealed Mystery": That beard, the truth of all (truths), proceedeth from the place of the ears, and descendeth around the mouth of the Holy One; arid descendeth and ascendeth, covering (the cheeks which it calleth) the places of copious fragrance; (it is) white with ornament: and it descendeth in the equilibrium (of balanced power), and furnisheth a covering even unto the midst of the breast.
213. That is the beard of adornment, true and perfect, from the which flow down thirteen fountains, scattering the most precious balm of splendour.
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The beard, whose hairs hang down even unto the breast, white as snow; the adornment of adornments, the concealment of concealments, the truth of all truths.
I imagine such a beard would be a capital place to conceal a flask.
(the cheeks which it calleth) the places of copious fragrance
My cheeks are places of copious fragrance as well!
Evidently, the male pheromones are emitted from micro-glands along the jaw. A beard makes a vapor cloud of them, saying all kinds of sub-verbal things to wimmens. Thus, your beard is talking but you don't know what it's saying.
"Something strange is happening here but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones."
That is the beard of adornment, true and perfect, from the which flow down thirteen fountains
DO NOT EAT THE SOUP HE MAKES.
The eleventh disposition is, that no hairs are preeminent over other hairs, and they are restored into perfect proportion. Because, y'know, if you start getting into some kind of wacky caste system with your beard, you have to come up with a system for identifying each individual hair, perhaps naming them. And let's be honest here, that shit's gonna get you put away.
The twelfth disposition is that the hairs do not hang over the mouth, and that the mouth is uncovered in every part, and that the hair surrounding it is beautiful. Anybody remember Steven Weed? No, seriously, I was practically THERE when she got kidnapped, and he was ineffectual and even so impossible to look at because of the way that fucking mustache like COMPLETELY covered his mouth. Ewwwww....
Thus, your beard is talking but you don't know what it's saying.
And then I get slapped, not the beard, because there is no justice.
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