Sunday, December 27, 2009

Brassica oleracea: Just Say No

Recent events reveal that Brussels Sprouts are a leading cause of greenhouse gas emissions from green turtles.
Brussels Sprouts: bad for sea turtles, bad for the environment, bad for you.

Obligatory Pedantic addendum: Reports on this story in newspapers and websites -- mostly based on the Daily Torygraph as the primary source -- talk about "turtles", plural. According to our research, the Greater Yarmouth Sea Life Centre has only a single green turtle (George), but it is asking too much for newspaper journalists to read their information and write reports accordingly.
I also suspect that Russell Hoban played fast-&-loose with the facts when he wrote Turtle Diary.

5 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

The eight-year-old resident male at Great Yarmouth Sea Life centre measures a metre and will reach maturity for another 20 years.

...all downhill after that, in my experience (and if your overflow sensors are triggered by splashing gas bubbles, don't blame it on the sprouts).

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I see The War on Brussels Sprouts continues.

We will fight you on the beaches, and such as!@#%$^!
~

mikey said...

I recognize the narrowing effect on the discourse generated by the intert00bz, resulting in the opportunity to seek out, and read exclusively only those positions that align with or validate our own deeply held beliefs.

That all said and shit, I wish to thank you for your lucid and cogent expose of the foul and disgusting nature of brussels sprouts, an utterly inedible and unpleasantly odoriferous plant matter, and once again, to remind you that should you choose to publish a newsletter on this topic, with regular updates and extensive bibliography, I should very much like to subscribe...

Another Kiwi said...

Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall who is a GOD in this house. had recipe where the Sprout of Brussels had a chunk of Black Pudding inserted into it's body. Then the whole assemblage was dipped in batter and deep fried.
People were shown eating something that had been deepfried and saying, "Mmmmm that's really good" but it could have been sheep eyes for all we know. I'm sure Hugh wouldn't lie to us.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

The only way to get kids to eat Black Pudding is to hide it in Brussels sprouts.

My Brassica consumption of the week will be a pot of collard greens simmered with some smoked pork neck and a touch of salt pork.

Don't be hatin' on the crucifers, now!