Thursday, December 31, 2009

Little known Hadron collider plans unearthed


It seems that long lost plans for a Small Hadron Collider have been found in the rafters of a former Public House in London. The plans seem to show that animal and possibly human sacrifices were considered part of the process for colliding Hadrons.
Whilst the planners can only be admired for their ambitious attitude they have to be criticised for pre-dating the harnessing of electricity by 3-400 years. A major design flaw.

13 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

Woodcut encroachment!

Another Kiwi said...

This, Sir, is Science, Sir. We don't have these sort of petty feuds about who discovers and publishes what, Sir.

Smut Clyde said...

After drinking two gallons of cider
I built my own hadron collider.
A collider-scope
Would show it (I hope)
but the web-cam was eaten by spider.

mikey said...

They could only get away with it because back then Hadrons were little tiny particles. And on the scale of the time, SMALL Hadrons were hardly there at all.

Now, if they wanted to accelerate and collide some modern day LARGE Hadrons, they would need a great deal more than skeletons of farm animals and underfed physicists. Speaking of whom, the poor guy in the lower right corner is utterly drained by the effort...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

That's a Smut Hadron Collider!

Smut Clyde said...

There was a large hadron collider
(something something something)
(something something) inside her.

All limericked out now.

mikey said...

A Hadron Collider to please us
Spoiled the whole fucking story for jesus
See the story as told
Was shit, plain and bold
And we don't need no angels to tease us...

mikey said...

Happy fucking empirical non-dogmatic measurable falsifiable new years, motherfuckers.

I'm drinking scotch in relativistic volumes. How bout chu?

mikey said...

Let's break stuff and shit.

Heh heh heh...

Smut Clyde said...

AK foolishly trusted me with the keys to the blog so now I will drink a few Smorts of uisquebaugh and TINKER WITH THE COLOUR SCHEME.

Another Kiwi said...

On further study of the plans I can see no funnel or chute to put the hadrons into the collider. There is a sort of syringe thing in the big cabinet on the wall but it is not marked "Hadron Squirter" or anything like that. What were they thinking off???

tigris said...

The future is in spider colliders and dancing hadrons.

merc said...

I went to the end of the road and paddled out to sea, and no one was there.

fousello, that crazy jelly.