Though a small country, New Zealand is up there at the top in terms of the quality of our douchebags

At the Riddled office we're drawing straws to see who writes a comment on Paul Henry and his recent advances in the field of Advanced Quantum Apologetics. His own special contribution was the "The real victim here is me" part:

It upsets me greatly that anyone would imagine I had intended to cause offence or hurt over this or any issue

It was hurtful that people were reading offensive connotations into his use of the word "retard" to laugh at mental disability, and anyone offended should in fact apologise to him. After that, alas, his press release descended to a derivative anticlimax. These days, "I am sorry that some people have taken what I said in a way that I never intended" is unoriginal, ho-hum stuff.

It is no great surprise that someone in the media world is saying "up your bum" and calling it an apology, in order to bolster his lucrative reputation as an arsehole (or "pushing the boundaries with edgy transgressive humour" if you prefer). Though I should point out that here at Riddled we cultivate our arsehole reputations for free -- purely out of love of the sport.

Trouble is that Paul Henry apparently presents a morning TV show, so until recently I was not aware of his existence (due to my unfamiliarity with both concepts, "TV" and "morning"). Should I find out enough about the ratbag to comment intelligently, or should I put up a Baldung Grien painting of Eve and Zombie Adam? It is a fierce pancake.

Instead of drawing straws, how about we send Brett down to the dairy to buy a packet of Tim-Tams and give him the job while he's out of the office.