Sunday, February 7, 2010

Earthquake Weather

Apparently our readers up there in Lower Canada are experiencing snowstorms and generally dismal conditions.
We would be more sympathetic, but we have our own problems with extreme weather events.


Another Kiwi said...

It's blowing chunks,man

Sebastia said...

This is clearly a ground breaking cubist event

mikey said...

Ahh, the box harvest. Whenn you first pick 'em, they're lighter than air and they'll float away if you're not careful.

Sadly, note the mounted rider in the center. He's the royal tax collector, riding into the village chanting "Of each four boxes, one for the village and one for the king", they were pretty fucking socialist, don't y'know.

Now, the tax collector is not a popular figure, as you can well imagine, hence the reticle with etched crosshairs suspended just over his head (if they ever develop ye olde rifle he's in the hurt locker fer sure). You'll notice that he just took the man in the shack for his boxes AND his trousers, although it's possible he only took the trousers as a very funny joke.

The scamps skulking along the road behind the tax collector with the swords are local toughs, delinquents with ready access to ale and fart jokes, and they are trying to dare each other to sneak up on the tax collector and whack his horse on the ass, mostly because they're stoned and have been listening to the same old eddie money 8 track since friday.

By far the most interesting aspect I'd like to call your attention to is the historical source of the human population of this village. You might think they were conceived and born like you and eye, but if you look closely at the hillside quarry on the left, you'll quickly notice that what remains in the limestone is human-shaped hollows. Yep, that's right, when they need a few new peeps in this benighted village, they just go to the quarry and dig them up!

Then they go straight out and start planting, tending and harvesting boxes, for without them what would you and eye use to move our shit to a new apartment, after all?

Smut Clyde said...

It's also worth commenting on the tunnel at the lower left of the image. That's where the fast underground coach road to Nürnberg was going to go. Needless to say, all the tourist traffic that was supposed to bring money into the town never materialised, and the local politicians are still arguing about who should carry the can for the Tunnel to Nowhere.

Another Kiwi said...

I note that the three men in a boat, Jerome, Kevin and Jerome have found the boxes that my Dad lost overboard whilst his family fled from Glasgow in the Great McReekie Uprising.
That's the family humorously shaped vegetable collection and we'd like it back.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

is that Kevin, his brother Jerome and his other brother Jerome?

Another Kiwi said...

I believe so, ZRM. Not to be mixed up with the other Jeromes.

tigris said...

delinquents with ready access to ale and fart jokes

So, our esteemed hosts?

Another Kiwi said...

That's a bannin'