Saturday, February 20, 2010

I found the bones of all your ghosts

Mary Mary Reliquary,
What has become of your bones?

A long time postmortem

A scientist bought 'em
To mass-produce sanctified clones.


The windows in the fingers are sort of anti-rings. They're so you can see the object of your veneration, the phalanges of the original saintly fingers.*

The Victoria-&-Albert Museum finances are always in a mess, so I thought they'd have no trouble selling "hands-of-glory" candles or "handeliers" to pious tourists. But were they grateful for this addition to their range of merchandise? Were they bogroll. All the fuss, you'd think I had stolen the reliquary rather than just borrow it for a while. Honestly, people, the excess wax will just brush off.

* Or at least you would see them if they hadn't been swiped by a team of microbiologists who are investigating whether the mitochondrial DNA of saints has some special quality distinguishing it from ordinary mDNA.

6 comments:

Substance McGravitas said...

Not enough fingers for a chess set. (A set of this was in the Musée des beaux-arts de Montréal last I was there).

mikey said...

I think that left candle-hand is flipping me off.

Goddam it...

tigris said...

You and Substance Productions should collaborate on movie ideas, because I would go see a film about rogue microbiologists stealing relics FOR SCIENCE, too.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

All your ghosts are belong to us!

The Victoria-&-Albert Museum finances are always in a mess, so I thought they'd have no trouble selling "hands-of-glory" candles or "handeliers" to pious tourists.

Well, they could always employ said hands of glory in thiefly pursuits- theft of sacred objects is a time-honored criminal enterprise.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The term 'stealing' appears overly judge Mental.

How about "borrowing for an indeterminate period of time, without prior authorization"?

P.S. W.V. entoming: Something entomologists do, or is it more a Middle Earth type of deal?
~

Another Kiwi said...

been swiped by a team of microbiologists who are investigating whether the mitochondrial DNA
This sort of slur upon the noble profession of bugology cannot go unanswered. "Swipe" Sir, "Swipe"!!!
Agar Jockeys do not Swipe! Purloin in the interests of the Great Global Warming Conspiracy, yes. We are highly trained Plate Fiddlers and would not swipe things, things that are not easily fenced anyway,
Sir.