Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Not-Well-Pleased Alert: Condition Red

You'll be pleased to learn that three species of pitcher plants in Borneo have
evolved to not only catch the droppings of tree shews (and use them as nutrients), but to compel the shrews to defecate (and probably urinate) in their pitchers. In other words, they’ve evolved to be shrew toilets....

The plants have recurved “lids” that produce a sweet substance that the tree shews lap up while sitting astride the pitchers.
Like any normal person, my immediate response was to get out the chicken-wire and plaster and set about remodeling the toilet at home into a replica of a Nepenthes rajah pitcher, though with a coffee dispenser instead of a nectarium. However, the Frau Doktorin insisted that my first priority should be to finish repainting the house interior with dazzle-ship decor (to match the furniture).

Never mind, I have a Plan B for the toilet.

Inspiration stolen from Peter Fitz, cartoonist and drawer of fine avatars.

UPDATE: Bonus toilet decor!
What a coincidence! Just the other day Another Kiwi was saying that what we need on Riddled is an excuse to upload the 'talking toilet' panels from Lazarus Churchyard.


Especially talking toilets with Mexican accents.



UPDATE²: Bonus bonus toilet decor!

14 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Never mind, I have a Plan B for the toilet.

Sure to be popular with the ladies!

Very shrewd, S.C.
~

Another Kiwi said...

I think that your toilet will encourage shrews that you might not want around. But that is all part of evolution.

J— said...

Note the animal’s butt inside the pitcher.

One for the caption time capsule.

I was excited when learned the yellow pitcher plant smells kind of like cat pee, but these Borneo pitchers take the cake.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

...but these Borneo pitchers take the cake.

Like Glenn Beck at FAUX Nooze.
~

Smut Clyde said...

I should probably scan in the talking toilet scene from an old Lazarus Churchyard strip. Or I could, umm, get around to it later.

mikey said...

Damn, this frightens me.

I can only begin to imagine the nefarious activities the bad guys might get up to if they invented a laphroaig - flavored lickable panel.

I'm vulnerable here!

They could put a Laphroaig scented kerchief in front of a seat on the non - proliferation committee and there'd I'd be, trying to get Kim il Sung to disarm.

ARrrrggghhhh....

Smut Clyde said...

Note the animal’s butt inside the pitcher.

The sign of an authentic scrumpy.

mikey said...

Hmmmm.

I'm wracking my brain here. (Do you WRACK your brain or RACK your brain? Does it even matter. Come to think of it, what the fuck does it even mean, anyway?)

So I'm thinking about it REALLY HARD, hard enough to lift up one side of an old 2 door chevy, like a vega or sommething? Anyway, it pretty much goes like this.

I've had a lot of long conversations with various and sundry toilets over the years, from stupid arguments over women to elaborate debates about the meaning of various death rituals, and every last stinking one of them, from the urinals to the troughs to the sparkling porcelain bowls had a mexican accent. It is well beyond my pay grade to even attempt a cogent explanation....

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Thanks. I am never peeing in a toilet again.

Substance McGravitas said...

Fastidious zombies.

fish said...

If it dispensed beer, you would never have to leave its comforting embrace. Ever.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

though with a coffee dispenser instead of a nectarium.

Any excuse to spring for the crappuccino.

tigris said...

Thanks. I am never peeing in a toilet again.

Yeah, well, try putting the recurved "lid" down when you're done with the pitcher next time.

Smut Clyde said...

If it dispensed beer, you would never have to leave its comforting embrace.
Oddly enough, you're not the first person to tell me that.