Monday, May 24, 2010

It's Winter

And how do we know? Because we get this in our Inbox:

 Hi
PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS EMAIL.   It was sent by an auto response machine.
Thank you for contacting Facilities Management.
Your service request - CAN NOT TURN RADIATOR KNOBS ON has been logged.

"and we are all having a good chuckle about it in the only place in the facility whose heaters work".
Even if the sodding knobs did work there would only be cold water because it is not OFFICIALLY Winter yet. We have OFFICIAL seasons here, bub, and so an early winter or Summer are equally annoyingly the wrong temperature. O' course when the famed East German architects designed this building, in the heydays of the Soviet Union, they did not take into account where the sun might be, "ha ha, Ziss building demonstrates the unconcern of man wizz nature. Mankind will be the overlords of nature."
Thus, in the summer the Gel Electrophoresis is actually the Gel Soup and in winter it is the Gel Concrete. Hilarity ensues.
But soon a man wiv a clipboard will be here to peer at the room number and check it 4 times with his list. Then he will come in and say "Bit chilly this mornin' eh?" in what he has been taught is a customer friendly manner. "Ah' he will say "Your heaters aren't working" Pausing for the laughter to die down he will then look at the Radiator knobs for 10 minutes and then say "These need to be bled". Then we will get the "Why You Should All Turn Your Heaters Off At The Same Time" lecture which is incomprehensible to all but a Radiator Physicist.
But this time it have warmed up enough to allow humans to work in the workplace, the job is crossed off the "to do" List and we can await the official winter. BUT the computers will not overheat,eh.

14 comments:

merc said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_00bbE9oxQ

branio, take daily for swift easy thoughts.

merc said...

Sorry could not resist,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eosrujtjJHA&feature=related

pretant, before the pedant there was the pretant, a predatory aunt ant.

M. Bouffant said...

Knobs indeed.

Smut Clyde said...

Because we get this in our Inbox:
I got a rock.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I got a rock.

Mr. Luxury never stops showing off!

P.S. In weather news, I was chased from the horrible place, err office, by the fact that the A.C. goes off at 6 pm for the first time this year.
~

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

For ambiguity's sake, the A.C. always goes off at 6 p.m. It was only today that it was hot enough in Columbus that this fact chased me out of the horrible place.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Have you tried turning the knobs with your fingers? They are there on the ends of your hands.

fish said...

Sure SMG goes for the difficult fix when nanobot reengineering of body homeostasis would suffice.

fish said...

If you want to turn the radiator knobs on perhaps a little wine and soft music would help? If not, try oysters on the half shell.

merc said...

Hands off our kai moana.

echnon, not bad at all

Smut Clyde said...

If not, try oysters on the half shell.

Not a good alternative, always lots of cleaning up afterwards.

Another Kiwi said...

I just about broke the bit on the arm just by the end of the hand, wrist (sp?) trying to turn on the damn knobs. After El Radiatore got here and we had the oysters and wine we got some knob action happening.
Now I just feel used of course but the room is 1/2 a degree warmer.

Substance McGravitas said...

Know what's good for EVERYTHING? Vice-grips. Clamp 'em on and they're more leverage on a handle. Adjust the clamp size and hold your DNA in place while you add an All-Seeing Eye Gene. Swing them up over your head and when they come down they can beat your boss's brains in.

merc said...

Jesus, the fierce eye and the xtrong arm gene...evoked.

luctren, all new medication for when you're down on yours.