Thursday, May 6, 2010

Walkin' on the beaches, Pluckin' off the leeches

Tyrannobdella rex is Latin for "tyrant leech king."
"Tyrant Leech King" is of course the best bootleg King Crimson album EVAH.

Not satisfied with describing a hither-to unknown Peruvian Nose Leech, the researchers reconstructed a phylogenetic tree and concluded that various other leeches around the world that "specialize in attacking mammalian mucous membranes" form a distinct family, the Praobdellidae:
T. rex is most closely related to the Mexican leech, Pintobdella chiapasensis, which parasitizes the nasal passages of tapirs. Another close relative, known as the Terrible Ferocious Leech, Dinobdella ferox, feeds on mucous membranes in the rectum, vagina or upper airway in humans and other mammals.
A moralist given to speeches
Against porn stars who use anal bleaches
Amended his views
In Peruvian loos
Where he learned about mucosal leeches.

BONUS: Report on the New Zealand leech Hirudobdella antipodium.
While leeches may not have the public appeal of colourful birds or the liquid-amber eyed fur seal, they are a distinctive and unique part of New Zealand’s biodiversity, a taonga, and require protection.

15 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

THEY CAME FIRST for the leeches,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a leech.
~

merc said...

Leeches can be applied to tidy up peroxide mishaps, apparently.

gamishun, bad leg.

ckc (not kc) said...

...they are a distinctive and unique part of New Zealand’s biodiversity, a taonga, and require protection.

The cruelty of the annual leech hunt - clubbing the helpless whitecoat leeches - all for the sake of fashion - it send a chill up my spine (oh, wait - I'm sitting on the remote - never mind.)

mikey said...

Some leeches came to town for my mucous
A bunch of blood sucking palookas
I said "Stay outta my junk
You foul little punk"
And the bastard went around to my tookus

ckc (not kc) said...

A leech that goes after your membranes
With never a thought for the quem, reigns
Supreme among parasites
(Neglecting the catamites)
And I'm sure the pope and Obama will have something to say about them, if you ask politely (and/or with enough crudely lettered signs)

mikey said...

The question they asked in the class
Was "what burrows itself deep in your ass?"
The answer was "leeches"
But it's the way that he teaches
The Professor said "None of you Pass"

merc said...

But but did the leeches pass?

drucka, and evil duck trucker.

ckc (not kc) said...

I thought that my allergies led to
The mucous malaise in my head. Too
much pollen, I cried,
Then the leech at my side
Said I'd bathed where I oughten have not 'ed to.

Smut Clyde said...

I remain unconvinced that a conger eel is really the best way of dealing with leeches up the bottom.

merc said...

A conger line works everytime and rhymes.

omishio, a Japanese actor who didn't take his own life yet wore a General's uniform.

Substance McGravitas said...

leeches around the world that "specialize in attacking mammalian mucous membranes"

It's like those guys who become urologists. I mean come on, there isn't something else you want to specialize in?

fish said...

I will say that even though they represented a significant net positive to public health, leech checkpoints are a bit more invasive than I am comfortable with.

fish said...

She frequently bathed in lakes, rivers and streams in the Amazonian part of Peru and was distressed when she felt "a sliding sensation" in the back of her nose.

Okay, yuck.

Jennifer said...

While leeches may not have the public appeal of colourful birds or the liquid-amber eyed fur seal, they are a distinctive and unique part of New Zealand’s biodiversity

So you've got that going for you...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Double the salt in the ol' neti pot
When dealing with leeches as well as with snot.