Friday, June 18, 2010

Naked Brain Blogging #2

How to defend yourself against Zombies.
RIGHT
[...] the armour was knitted or woven from coconut twine creating a very strong but flexible fibre. The armour is made up of trousers, a vest, and a jacket. The jacket has a high collar to protect the back of the head. Across the stomach is a piece of dried stingray skin to protect the stomach from spears. A skullcap is also made of plaited coir twine, up to 2cm thick, overlaid with a porcupine fish hat.
WRONG.

9 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...clearly, inadequate ear protection

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The shark tooth spear was used in tribal warfare, family and other feuds.

Good thing my family didn't have access to those.
~

tigris said...

Coincidence? Doubtful.

Substance McGravitas said...

CRUELTY! The monkey on the left has not been given a spoon.

mikey said...

A skullcap is also made of plaited coir twine, up to 2cm thick, overlaid with a porcupine fish hat.

Kay, I'm gonna stop you right there for some deeper exploration. See, I understand the plaited twine skullcap, functioning much like the Sikh hair/turban combination as the best defensive armor against blows to the head by heavy edged weapons such as swords and axes. The blow could be absorbed even as penetration was prevented, leaving the victim of the strike alive and often completely unhurt. That makes nothing but sense, particularly in a culture that hasn't developed effective metallurgical solutions to helmets and body armor.

But then they overlaid their head protection with "porcupine fish armor". Why? Did they envision a scenario where they might be engaged with an enemy soldier and when another enemy soldier joined the fight, could then use their HEAD as a weapon, lunging head-down so as to give him a bunch of stinging OWIES? The multiple levels of which this is a dumb idea are mind-boggling. As using your head as a bludgeon might leave your mind boggled too...

Smut Clyde said...

Coincidence? Doubtful.

I see what you do there.

But then they overlaid their head protection with "porcupine fish armor". Why?
I imagine that when the first person tried it, he won his duel because his opponent let down his guard thinking "Ha ha, a porcupine fish is half-way through swallowing his head, he will be at a disadvantage". Then it caught on.

tigris said...

Totally innocent. Toooootally. Innocent. OH LOOK A GULF WALRdammit I really can't keep this up.

fish said...

Hey, that monkey stole tigris' coconut.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Coconuts, not just for pie or curries!