Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Fairytale romance does exist

Levi and Bristol back together!!! I am sure it's unconnected with Levi's "Shucks, I done lied" from last week. But no worries, I read an article by Andrew Sullivan about Mrs Moosalini (ITTDGY 2009) going to run for Preznit in 2012 so I don't have to worry about that now.


mikey said...

Grey skies, cold drizzle, a sharp wind blowing in over the muttering waves. Bits of sand hissed against my ankles. It was February in Santa Cruz, and the Northern California coast was wrapped in wet grey cotton. Everything was muffled, and everybody moved just a beat slow. I was sitting there thinking about dinner, jeans and OD vest, bare toes playing self-consciously in the fine sand.

Nobody was around. It was winter of 2008, so I was pretty much used to that. The tan kid came over. "Nothing yet" he said. He hesitated, then began to turn away.


He stopped, then turned around slowly.

"You don't have to tell me when nothing happens" I said to his dancing eyes.

"I-I'm sorry?" he offered. Lame.

"You're supposed to tell me when SOMEBODY gets here, not when NOBODY does" I snapped, then turned away before we began to sound like a bickering old married couple. Christ, I didn't even KNOW this fucking kid. He nodded and hurried down the beach. My south perimeter. Hell, overrun before they fucking GOT here. Shit.

I turned around for the trudge up to the beach house. Right away, I heard the sound of frantic footsteps on the beach behind me. I reached under the vest for the HK .45 and turned. The kid was watching the beach to keep from tripping, and he never saw me until he ran into my chest. Now this kid didn't have a lot of meat on him, and nobody ever accused me of being a petite flower, so the kid ended up on his ass.

He didn't say a word - he just looked back down the beach and there she was. She strode up, a little out of breath, looking for all the world like one of those sub-urban hookers with the brown curly hair and big lips and all? "You mikey?" she asked. She talked kind of funny, like a foreigner, but not.

"Yep" I said. "Why are you looking for me?"

"Oh" she said. I made myself a little promise. Things are getting a little crazy in my life, and I've got a few things left to do".

Ahhh. Of course. "And you had to meet me in order to make those dreams come true, did ya" I taunted, somehow trying to emulate her unusual cadence.

"Yeah. Yes I did. mikey, will you introduce me to your nephew David?" she asked, sugar-sweet smile on those awesome lips.

I chuckled. "Sure, Bristol, sure. But some day I'm gonna tell this story to Levi" I told her eyes.

"I'll Kill ya" she said around her toothy smile as they ran off down the beach to the tidepools....

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Celebration Time!

Throw another caribou on the barbie, we're having a party.

fish said...

The magazine's editor, Caroline Schaefer, told NBC the couple were living separately and practising abstinence and planned to wed within the next month.

U R doing it rong.

Substance McGravitas said...

practising abstinence

Do you actually practice that?

J— said...

I think they're just doing this because they got jealous of all the attention Iker and Sara were getting.

Von said...

Ah, goody, now they can breed more, and without the wrath of God.
I can sleep easy now.

*bleh, shudder*

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

no point to abstinence now, you're already going to hell.

They're pretty stupid, even for fundamentalists.

And the stupid ones breed more, Von. Marching Morons, indeed.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Fairytale romance does exist

I kissed a frog and I liked it!

Willy said...

Check out the couple's registry Seems heavily tilted towards Levi's tastes.

Jennifer said...

They're getting married in 6 weeks. My money's on them supposedly having a preemie. Look at her? She's got the glow and plumpness of pregnancy... Abstinence, my arse.

fish said...

I would like to practice more abstinence please. It is only in failure that we learn.

ckc (not kc) said...

...abstinence makes the part grow longer

Smut Clyde said...

Abstinence, my arse.
IANATheologian but I think that still counts.