Thursday, September 2, 2010

Clash of Civilisations for Dummies Ants

Lecture 1:
  1. We are so numerous that we are starving.
  2. Therefore we must not cut down our numbers but encourage large families in order to become still more numerous and starving.
  3. When we are so numerous and starving as all that, obviously we have a right to take other people's syrup. Besides, we shall by then have a numerous and starving army.
Lecture 2:
  1. We are more numerous than they are, therefore we have a right to their syrup.
  2. They are more numerous than we are, therefore they are wickedly trying to steal our syrup.
  3. We are a mighty race and have a natural right to subjugate their puny one.
  4. They are a mighty race and are unnaturally trying to subjugate our inoffensive one.
  5. We must attack in self-defence.
  6. They are attacking us by defending themselves.
  7. If we do not attack them today, they will attack us tomorrow.
  8. In any case we are not attacking them at all: we are offering them incalculable benefits.

7 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

...incalculable benefits

don't try this with the IRS

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

FAUX News has put us all in a jar, and they're shaking it.
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Everything which is not compulsory is forbidden!

Everything which is not forbidden is compulsory!

Been meaning to re-read this.

Substance McGravitas said...

Do ants know that syrup-covered ants are likely to be pretty tasty? Don't drink the bathwater without the baby!

Mendacious D said...

...incalculable benefits

Ingrates.

J— said...

Combat operations have ended!

justme said...

A strange feature was that the common ants were neither exalted by the songs nor interested by the lectures. They accepted them as matters of course. They were rituals to them, like the Mammy songs or the conversations about their beloved Leader. They did not regard these things as good or bad, exciting, rational or terrible: they did not regard them at all, but accepted them as Done.

Indeed