Thursday, February 17, 2011

Friday Skull blogging

"So", I vouchsafed, "the skulls in the tea room are part of 'They're Your Feckin' Ancestors' week at the Riddled Anthropology and History Groovatorium?"
No one seemed to have heard me I assumed that there was another explanation.
"Maybe", I opined, "they are part of weird rituals to try and get the pixie librarians out of 'Snaggets Booke of Spelles of Lurve and Mystery Hubba Hubba"
 A few coughs was the only reply so I had to baldly (but in a complete non bastardly manner) ask why there were skulls in the tea room.
No one, it appeared, could say.
One of those things.
"It may not look too good what with the Ardship (Hoban 1980) coming here to see Evangeline van Holsteren about his 'problem'" suggested Smut Clyde and, of course, he was right. The Ardship of West Snooting did had a weekly meeting with Evangeline in our tearoom because it was soundproof and washable.
The vast resources of Riddled Inc. swung into action and Little Timmy was tied assigned into the time machine for delivery of the skulls to times thence.
The manual of the time machine has been "degraded" over the years and chewed by Hadrosaurs so some bits are a little hard to read. Just ask the Emperor Justinian or Arthur Harris of Waipukarau as he is now known (wonderful mayor, people say, does a good parade).
But Little Timmy is an excitable boy at teh best of times and being pursued through time by VERY CROSS Time Corps operatives was really not the best of times, so we weren't quite sure where the skulls ended up.
Until this week. Now it turns out that they were joke drinking skulls from Whizzo Jokes and Novelties (no eels) and they would like the samples back. Anyone seen Little Timmy?


merc said...

/tears up/...someone read the manual.

wv; spart, part spart...hence...I am Spart...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Gough's Cave is situated in the Cheddar Gorge, a deep limestone canyon on the southern edge of the Mendip Hills.

Shirley, someone is making all of this up.

Smut Clyde said...

The site is particularly noteworthy for the discovery in 1903 of "Cheddar Man",

This all sounds suspiciously familiar.

Another Kiwi said...

Lol, it is a very lovely manual, too.

I did like the discovery Cheddar Man. Super powers?

Jennifer said...

How insensitive... some of us are still experiencing Thursday!

I shan't be back...

ckc (not kc) said...

...the complete skeleton of a male individual dating to about 10,000 years ago.

...They were a one man band; they were going out, hunting, butchering and then eating their kill. And they were extremely skilled at what they did, but then that's how they survived.

...haven't found the drum and cymbals, yet.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Ancient Britons 'drank from skulls'

to be fair, who doesn't?

fish said...

The Ardship of West Snooting did had a weekly meeting with Evangeline in our tearoom because it was soundproof and washable.

No thank you, I would not like a "finger sandwich."

fish said...

some of us are still experiencing Thursday!

Thursday Next's father was in the time corps.

Coincidence? I think not.

Smut Clyde said...

Ancient Britons 'drank from skulls'
Little-known fact: Pagets-disease skulls are no good for this purpose because the bone, though thicker and stronger than a normal skull, is also porous.

ckc (not kc) said...


good for chilling a bottle of white wine, then?

mikey said...

Oddly, I feel completely at home in this post. I shan't be leaving. Young man! I say, bring me a root beer, be a sport.

Ahem. Now, where were we?

Ah yes. What has come to be known as "The Timmy Problem". Well. Perhaps I can shed some light on that.

I last saw Timmy in late fall, 1918 in Queens, New York. He had survived the flu, but in a terribly weakened state. I made him a nice cuppa tea and beat feet outta there. He called me a frightful name, but I suspect that was residual anger from our previous meeting at Austerlitz in ought five, when I put a bayonet through his thigh - he had trouble understanding it was intended to save him.

You know how it goes. We have come to call it the Billy Pilgrim syndrome. At some point, you just come unstuck in time. And Timmy's fully adrift - perhaps we'll meet him again the next time we go a-hunting hadrosaur...

Another Kiwi said...

Well played, Sir.

Whale Chowder said...

Pagets disease skulls: earliest known version of the gag dribble cup.

Smut Clyde said...

That was in the original, suppressed coda of Egil's Saga.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

because the bone, though thicker and stronger than a normal skull, is also porous.

Dribble skulls are not amusing, sir.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Oh fuck you whale chowder.