Saturday, March 12, 2011

Great Failures

"We need more pictures," said tigris, pointing to the small print in the Riddled mission statement. "Recent posts have failed to meet the Mandatory Aspirational Quota for 16th-Century Woodcuts."

"It is not my fault," I replied with all the dignity one can muster when one has beer froth dripping from one's moustache. "The woodcut pixies are staging a work-to-rule and will not produce anything except diffraction gratings. They reckon their contract entitles them to time-and-a-half in lieu for working on the Feast of Saint Polycarp."

"It would help the figure-to-text ratio," said tigris, " if certain people confined themselves to a single bottle of Pooter's Porter at a time and wrote fewer text-dumps about New Zealand politicians."

"How about we recycle a woodcut again?" Another Kiwi hastened to suggest. "Add a few nice rocks as distraction and no-one will ever notice."
-------------------------------------------------
Great Failures of Our Time:* First version of Tetris.

Nice rocks.

* "Great Failures" concept (c) Glen Baxter.

16 comments:

vacuumslayer said...

I like your story. I wish the main characters had been fleshed out a bit more. I want to know more about what's motivating tigris' woodcut fetish. Ditto for AK's rock fetish.

Finally, this story has one major flaw, in that I'm not in it. Let's try to do better next time, ok?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Cubular orbs?

I'm not quite grasping this concept. Perhaps if there was a show tune to go with it?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Well, win or lose at the Tetris game I'd call that a lot of value for a quarter.

Another Kiwi said...

Cubular orbs? Musical tunes? Let's put on a show, my Dad's got an old field we can use,

merc said...

I'll be Uncle Quentin.

monsioni, yeah I know.

Smut Clyde said...

I want to know more about what's motivating tigris' woodcut fetish.

Tigris demanding more pictures.

The Nice Rocks lobby within the readership is small but vociferous.

ckc (not kc) said...

You can call me small (I'm used to it) but that other thing is not on.

OT There is 1 person with the first name "Iverous" in the United States.

None yet with Iferous, nor Aceous. Go for it, folks!

WV gratio, and so it is.

ckc (not kc) said...

OT? what was I thinking?

ckc (not kc) said...

There are 607 people with the first name "Aa" in the United States.

(OK, maybe a little OT)

ckc (not kc) said...

...what does "vociferous" mean, again?

ckc (not kc) said...

...ranging from humorous puns and questions to praise...

Is there a scale for this? Where do abuse and invective fall (I'm asking for a friend)?

ckc (not kc) said...

I may be vociferous, but you can't stop me talking! (Excuse me, the nurse says it's time for my pills...)

(Cubes are easy!)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I can't hear the show tunes with all this vociferousness going on!
~

Another Kiwi said...

Vociferous vouchsafery will attract the banhammer

Smut Clyde said...

How many people are there in the US with first name OT?

Another Kiwi said...

More of a French name isn't it. 'OT Fifi or something like that.