Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Anachronism Department

This used to puzzle me. How come the genies and demons in Assyrian bas-reliefs are always wearing wristwatches?

Of course there is von Däniken's thesis that these are depictions of extraterrestrials who came to Earth 3000 years ago to teach our primitive ancestors how to preserve pineapples and wear a kilt with panache*, but I like to think that highly-evolved, benevolent, technologically-advanced alien mentors would have better taste than to accessorise their Hermes handbags with what appears to be a crass chunk of Versace bling.

Now, however, it all makes sense.

They are pedometers.

* A kind of sporran, I think.

14 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

Well, you know, founding a civilisation whilst covering up evidence of that founding is not the only thing that "the Gods" do and I imagine that they had "Meet the Teacher" appointments and there is lunch and afternoon tea to be had. They work here day after day, year after sodding year, and this is the thanks they get???
It's not all beer and skittles, inventing a fake civilisation, you know.

merc said...

My Dad told me never to wear my watch on my right hand, just sayin'.

essums, lots of e's

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It's not all beer and skittles, inventing a fake civilisation, you know.

Borges seemed to have mead a good run of things.

Substance McGravitas said...

This used to puzzle me. How come the genies and demons in Assyrian bas-reliefs are always wearing wristwatches?

They have to know just when to stab you with a pine cone.

Smut Clyde said...

This young lady is coping without a timepiece.

Smut Clyde said...

I would rate for a civilisation based on beer and skittles.

Another Kiwi said...

This young lady is coping without a timepiece.
Ow that's gotta hurt. The oversized Salted Pineapple trade ruins lives at all levels. This poor young student has accepted a huge (to him) payment to be a carrier 'mule'. Very sad.

tigris said...

This poor young student has accepted a huge (to him) payment to be a carrier 'mule'. Very sad.

Is that why he has a tail? What with that and the nudity he's going to be a little conspicuous.

mikey said...

Ok, I just went and checked the sock drawer. Sure enough, no ancient wristwatch, but have I mentioned the Hadrosaur pelvis with the embedded fossilized eighty million year old .375 H&H Magnum slug? Do you see where that might be problematic from that whole "river of time" standpoint?

It's pretty simple. Wristwatch or none, no matter WHEN time travel is developed, once it IS developed, well, then it will ALWAYS have existed. And yeah. Byzantine hookers might have ended up with a Timex. Why not?

Substance McGravitas said...

Byzantine hookers

ASSYRIAN hookers. You know why.

Smut Clyde said...

I am also concerned that the dude's helmet has a foreskin.

Another Kiwi said...

Well, when the Assyrian wishing Genie turns up with a matching Glomesh purse and wristwatch with a suggestion about where you should put this pineapple, the least of your worries is his cocked hat.

merc said...

Site take-down ordered by world web watchdog (heh) due to pun overload.

combit, a small fight.

tigris said...

As Smut might say, when life gives you cocks...