Friday, April 22, 2011

Slash-fic Fail

"To our community, Andrew Wakefield is Nelson Mandela and Jesus Christ rolled up into one," says J. B. Handley, co-founder of Generation Rescue, a group that disputes vaccine safety.
There are well-documented undesirable consequences from rolling up into one a human being and a creature so alien that even the processes of death and decay follow unearthly laws:
The urn-shaped torso was endowed with two heads. One of these heads was beaked like a cuttlefish and was lined with long oblique slits where the eyes should have been. The other head, in close juxtaposition on the narrow shoulders, was that of an aged man dark and regal and terrible, whose burning eyes were like balas-rubies and whose grizzled beard had grown to the length of jungle moss on the loathsomely porous trunk. This trunk, on the side below the human head, displayed a faint outline as of ribs; and some of the members ended in human hands and feet, or possessed anthropomorphic jointings.

Through heads, limbs and body there ran recurrently the mysterious noise of regurgitation that had drawn Milab and Marabac to enter the vault. At each repetition of the sound a slimy dew exuded from the monstrous pores and rilled sluggishly down in endless drops.
Wakefield's degree from Miskatonic University Medical School should have sent alarm bells ringing.

9 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

"even the processes of death and decay follow unearthly laws:"

Hey now.

Substance McGravitas said...

No pictures HAH

It's a sad day for the animated GIF community.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You could take a sad song and make it better, S_McG.
~

vacuumslayer said...

". At each repetition of the sound a slimy dew exuded from the monstrous pores and rilled sluggishly down in endless drops"

OK, I admit it! I'm long overdue a facial!

Kathleen said...

The urn-shaped torso

don't urns come in all sorts of shapes and sizes? I'm just not finding this a very useful description.

M. Bouffant said...

Operation "Rescue".

Another word lost from the language.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Wakefield's degree from Miskatonic University Medical School should have sent alarm bells ringing.

Hey, at least he didn't study surgery on Yuggoth!

Smut Clyde said...

I'm just not finding this a very useful description.

Illustrations by Edward Gorey would be helpful.

mikey said...

And where, prey tell, are the people that were undeniably on the airplane that apparently DIDN'T crash?

Mount Inostranka??