Vexingly, they sometimes file medical / apocalyptic journals there too, which is how I found myself reading
Morgellons disease: Analysis of a population with clinically confirmed microscopic subcutaneous fibers of unknown etiology *
In which we read the following perturbation-making information:
You can see the immanent existential threat here: If the fibres are so resistant to destruction then they are going to accumulate in the environment until they eventually FILL THE BIOSPHERE and we ALL DIE. Riddled Research Laboratories have introduced a MorgellonsShield but that is only a detection system consisting of drag-&-droppable photoshopped arrows and moreresearchisneeded.
In the medium term, the practical implications of virtually-indestructible fibres have not been adequately explored (Guinness, 1951)....Spunky red-head girl reporter has not heard from her Morgellons-Syndrome informants since they signed up with a new clinical trial offering to cure their condition. Curious, she ignores the scoffing from her editors and the warnings from sinister Men in Black while she follows the trail of clues that eventually leads her to the underground government base where the Morgies are being held in battery-hen conditions while their fibre exudation is harvested, for carbon sequestration but also to be woven into the immaculate white suits worn by members of the Global Elite.
I am relying on mikey to write the parts of the script where a cantankerous yet lovable war vet helps out the reporter with his expertise in firearms, motorbikes,
* In Clinical, Cosmetic and Investigational Dermatology, a real journal aimed at plastic surgeons and their ilk, with peer review and everything, contains no eels.
Bonus citation FAIL:
17 comments:
On the contrary, Sir, 'Pers.Comm.' is a citation with a long and proud history in Anti-Global Warming fuckhead circles.
Silly old pathologists writing "Textiles" when they see textiles.
That is as may be, Sir, but I do not rate for Pers.Comm.s from people whose names belong in Knock Knock jokes.
TBD Medical Associates, San Francisco, CA, USA
Here in these United Snakes, TBD usually means "To Be Determined," which I suppose is a good attitude to take toward scientific enquiry.
Which reminds me: Which month is bustiest?
We will not be having with jokes about "keeping a breast of the calendar", for this is a decent family blog.
Also Miss September.
Why? Why did I click on a Smut music link? Ouch. I had something to say but that wiped my slate clean.
(it's impossible to resist a link to "Miss September" - I know, I tried)
Item 1) What guitarist manqué said.
Item 2) I figured you upsidedownies would be taken up to heaven already.
~
the library pixies have chosen to file Another Kiwi's back-issues of Miss Busty Monthly there
They also keep asking me why the scantily clad young ladies pictured aren't actually breaking anything.
Indestructible fiber means unstoppable poop.
She walked hesitantly across the ragged parking lot, a dubious look on her face as the gusty winds off the bay played havoc with her elegant red coiffure. There was a rusted metal door in the side of the dilapidated warehouse, which I opened with a flourish. "My Scooter", I said as I turned on the overhead fluorescent lights. "Let me show it to you".
It sat low and menacing above it's inevitable small puddle of oil, all matte black and dull chrome with the patina of old pewter. I showed her the hidden release for the concealed compartment in front of the tank that held the 4" Smith .357. "Teflon loads", I told her. "They'll defeat body armor, and penetrate most engine blocks - very effective anti-vehicle rounds."
"Now", I told her. "Look over here". She leaned forward and watched as I opened a hinged plate innocuously located above the crankcase. I slid out a grey metal box. "Magnetic mine". I said. "Flip the switch, slap it on a car and get clear - it's a 20 second delay." She nodded grimly and made notes in her little reporter's notebook. I wondered briefly about the use of pen and paper in this day and age, but shrugged it off - must be a reporter thing.
We walked around to the other side, where, I pulled open a velcro flap in the seat. "It's called the "Magic Mary", I told her as I handed it to her. "Fourteen centimeters long, six discrete vibration settings, three different motors, convective liquid cooling throughout. There's nothing like it on the market." I pretended not to notice as she slipped it in her bag. Another satisfied customer...
Now I want a Morgellon's fiber supersuit (NO CAPES!!!).
I think the safest way to dispose of the indestructible matter is to shoot it off into space, maybe spin a net to capture and contain the asteroids to prevent any collisions with teh Erf.
Spunky red-head girl reporter
Always with the Ginger love. I feel a pout coming on!
Also, where does one find AK's copies of Bumpaddle?
Hah Bumpaddle is dead to me now. The bobby with a hobby was factually inaccurate (Peel,R. Pers. Comm.)
They also keep asking me why the scantily clad young ladies pictured aren't actually breaking anything.
The predictions of Rule 34 are such that I will not even bother googling for "nudist taekwondo". Also it is probably a trigger for many of our commenters.
If it was "nudist mom taekwando" that'd be a trigger* for me.
wv/ says derper. herp. herp.
*It would make me shoot my load.
OMG it's GRAPHENE!
The answer to the musical question "Which month is bustiest?" is, of course, June.
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