Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Send no money

Imagine my surprise when rummaging around in the intertubas for a good boat caulking recipe I stumbled upon, The Jesus Map:


 suffice it to say, that it does not appear to be our street although the nighbour did offer to lend me the square root of 2 times fuck-all, quite recently. But of course a map of this mysteriousness could not just exist on its oansome. It is part of an epic dissertation on The Becker hagans Grid which appears to be about tying balls up in leather thongs
and combining two of them with a sphere in a holy trinity sort of arrangement:
 to, er, prove that Cairo is a planned city.
The page rambles on for a lot longer managing to drag in Atlantis, The Bermuda Triangle and worldwide grid points which prove that Mayan athletes wore huge magnet yokes while playing that game with the ball and the bum thrusts. Mind you, you can't see the yoke because they "are found in the museums and collections of the very wealthy." But at the very end of the writing is the clue for New Zilders

Bruce Cathie is meticulously charting the courses of phenomena grouped under the title of “UFO.”
Yes, Bruce Cathie. The man who captured the hearts of my fellow 10 year olds at Aramoho Primary School by telling us that we would all be able to visit outer space.
But, I have to say that these people seem pretty harmless in the face of the Bachmann-Perry 2012!!!

7 comments:

Smut Clyde said...

These stones on display at the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford, England suggest a life of creative intellectual synthesis for the Neolithic craftsmen who crafted and “wrapped” them with leather thongs.

Sadly, what these stones suggest to me is a life of futility and misdirection playing Neolithic D&D with homemade dice.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

for a good boat caulking recipe

Boat Caulking Gumbo

* 1/2 cup vegetable oil
* 1 quart boat caulk
* 1/2 cup flour
* 1 pound smoked sausage
* 1 1/2 cups chopped onions
* 1/4 cup chopped green bell peppers
* 1/4 cup chopped red bell peppers
* 1 cup chopped celery
* 3 tablespoons butter
* 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes
* 1 teaspoon black pepper, or to taste
* 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper, or to taste
* 2 to 4 cloves garlic, minced
* 2 teaspoons Creole seasoning
* 1 teaspoon chili powder
* 1 teaspoon dried leaf thyme
* 2 quarts chicken broth
* 2 cups diced cooked chicken
* salt, to taste

To make roux, heat oil in saucepan. Add flour and cook, stirring constantly, until flour turns a dark brown. Be careful not to burn. Set aside.

In another saucepan, saute sausage, onions, green and red bell peppers, and celery in butter for approximately 10 minutes; add tomatoes. Stir in roux, seasonings, and boat caulk and let simmer for 20 minutes. Slowly stir in chicken broth and simmer for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. Adjust with water or chicken stock to taste. Add chicken and then serve over hot rice. Makes about 1 1/2 gallons. Serves 8 to 10.
~

Substance McGravitas said...

First boat caulking, then gay marriage. BOOKMARK IT, LIBS!

Smut Clyde said...

Mayan athletes wore huge magnet yokes while playing that game with the ball and the bum thrusts. Mind you, you can't see the yoke because they "are found in the museums and collections of the very wealthy."

I honestly believed those to be toilet seats, and the Berlin Ethnological Museum only have themselves to blame if they can't be arsed investing in enough signage.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

It looks like you could get into shape lifting the seat.
~

mikey said...

Waitaminute.

They have great big magnetic toilet seats? Good lord, what if you have no physiological shortage of Iron?

"Mom?"

"Yes dear."

"Where's uncle Fred?"

"Why, he's in the bathroom, Billy."

"But Mom, he's been in there since the Clinton administration."

"Uncle Fred has a lot of Iron, dear. I'm sure he'll be out soon."

Another Kiwi said...

Not to mention the possibilities of hadron collisions around the toilet seat. With hadrons the size of Mikeys', this could be catastrophic for the neighbours