Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Today's news in particle theory

You do not need high-energy particle accelerators with the magnets-that-look-like-hip-yokes to make magnetic monopoles. That is just another Big Government lie. Here Mr Gruntfuttock (the Libertarian candidate for East Brompton) shows how he manufactures his own monopoles using the 'vent' process that they don't want you to hear about. As you can see, the only equipment required is a pair of bellows, four helium balloons to keep the cat in the air,* and a novelty windmill hat that reads "A Gift from Rotterdamm" around the hatband. No wonder the government has trained monkeys to spy on him.

The clouds of smoke and the projectile-vomiting child are not part of the monopole process but are part of another of Mr Gruntfuttock's business activities. The goose with the little cask of brandy is lost; it is wandering around looking for the cartoon about the absence of avalanches in the Netherlands.

* Do not try this with Mrs Spat.

3 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The clouds of smoke and the projectile-vomiting child are not part of the monopole process but are part of another of Mr Gruntfuttock's business activities.

Is Mr. Gruntfuttock in business with Mark Foley?

Inquiring minds want to know!
~

Another Kiwi said...

Des Vents, that bastard.

Q:When Tiddles has been hoisted aloft, how does one retrieve her?
A: Wiv a catapult.

I told Smut that no one would laught, but dussee listen?

Whale Chowder said...

I'm beginning to sense a theme here, what with the bellows and the orbs. What are you up to down there under the good peoples' feets, eh?