Saturday, November 19, 2011

Revive the living dream Forgive their begging scream

One of these policy prescriptions for reducing expenses in the education system comes from a Charles Dickens character who combines venality, stupidity and self-justification to the point of absurdity.
"I’ve tried for years to have a very simple model,” he said. “Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school. The kids would actually do work, they would have cash, they would have pride in the schools, they’d begin the process of rising.”
The other philosopher is a US presidential contender, currently in favour with a plurality of voters aligned with the Republican party.
We go upon the practical mode of teaching, Nickleby; the regular education system. C-l-e-a-n, clean, verb active, to make bright, to scour. W-i-n, win, d-e-r, der, winder, a casement. When the boy knows this out of book, he goes and does it.
See if you can tell which is which!
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I can hardly wait to see which caricatured Dickens character will provide Newt Gingrich with his next policy pronouncement. Perhaps at some point in a debate he will describe himself as a very umble person, the umblest person going, who lives in a numble abode.

Newt Gingrich: Artist's Impression


16 comments:

ckc (not kc) said...

Ah, hell, just put a pile of competency exams near the door - let the kids write 'em when they think they're ready (no teachers, no janitors, just the invisible hand helping them out).

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

child work laws "entrap" poor children into poverty - and suggested that a better way to handle failing schools is to fire the janitors, hire the local students and let them get paid for upkeep.

yeah, cuz Janitors are such well-paid positions; no way one a them could be poor.

Also, firing Janitors, no way those people would end up poor, either; they can just live off their trust funds I guess.

What? They don't have trust funds or $30,000 dollar per hour phony-baloney consulting jobs? What poor planning they deserve to die. After they clean a couple more toilets, though.

Newt is such a shitnozzle. I can't believe so many people buy this straight-up gilded age claptrap.

I was reading somewhere, an apologist during the last Gilded Age was exonerating mine workers who wanted to work less than 18 hour days to suck it up, if they performed well without griping, perhaps one of the "job creators" of the time would be impressed enough to elevate them to maid at on of the mansions.

Are guillotines really the best way to go?

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I was reading somewhere, an apologist during the last Gilded Age was exonerating mine workers

Throws flag on grammar zombie.

Shirley you meant excoriating?
~

mikey said...

No, he was actually declaring them innocent of any crime and sending them back to work with no sammich...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I accept the penalty, thunder

You are, ad course, correct.

wiley said...

Are those shit fountains? Or shit being sprayed from a shitnozzle? It's endlessly spewing shit, whatever it is.

Smut Clyde said...

Must credit Substance McGravitas for the Poop-gun and the drag-&-drop technology.

Substance McGravitas said...

Those little guys are awfully cute. Have to make 'em walk I think. I am thinking of the least-possible-work method right now.

El Manquécito said...

I have thought that the Republican Klown Kar was more of a Micawber: completely bankrupt but convinced that something would turn up if they can hold on long enough.

tigris said...

they’d begin the process of rising.

Hey, they'll have lots of job experience when they apply for school janitorial positions once they graduate. Oh... oopsie.

Substance McGravitas said...

There we go.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Most of these schools ought to get rid of the unionized janitors, have one master janitor and pay local students to take care of the school.

Christ wept, Newt's a monster. Hell, why do schools even need a journeyman janitor if a "screw" can suffice.

Another Kiwi said...

"Halt, who goes there?"
"It is I, Harold Drainclearersson, Master Janitor, come to check the drains"
"Master Drainclearersson, it is good to see you. Where is your car, we have a secure area here where you may park it"
"Alas, young teacher's aide, I have no car and had to make use of Public Transport to enter these hallowed halls"
"Forgive my intrusion but I am new here since the incident involving my predecessor, but what is the purpose of your visit"
"I thought that you looked new to this establishment. I am the Master Janitor for this area and come to check that all is in working order here."
"So the inmates, er sorry, children here are supposed to maintain the system?"
"That they are, lad. Tell me, do you see them working at it"
"No, Master Janitor, they are kept too busy in the call centre, mailing out inspirational literature and going to confession, a lot of going to confession"
"Well, lad, you do your job and I'll do mine and one day you too may receive the Instrument of Scribing from the hand his Holiness Newt I, as I did. A prouder day there has not been in my life, save for when I was chosen from my school for the Janittaries"
"Praise be to His Holiness for his wisdom"
"Praise be, lad, er have the special boys sent to the Janitors office, will you. I need to see them"

Smut Clyde said...

You all knew I was going to link to this. And update the title while I was at it.

Mentis Fugit said...

zombie rotten mcdonald said...
The Great Gazoogle tells me that those are called Copulation Hats.


The bro-in-law-of-a-drinking-buddy is fairly active in falconry, and alleges such artifacts are found in said field auch. Mind you, he called it a "shagging hat".

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Gosh I wish that was a joke, AK. don't you wish that was a joke?

Meanwhile, her in the land of the Free (hah), we are pepper-spraying old ladies and lining up the stormtroopers in front of banks. Are the rest of you in the free world not going to invade us to free us of oppression?