Thursday, January 5, 2012

Weather (or not)

Today's weather map needs a bit of explanation. Start in the top left-hand square called the character square. Here you decide what character you will be when assessing the weather. Recently the character of Oswaldo the Rat has been popular but for beginners we recommend "Simple minded Humphrey". More advanced weather observers may want to try Sine Wave Syd or even Empty Half Moon Edwina.
But once your character is chosen move to the micro-organism lattice to decide which microbe humours will influence your final result.  Leptospiras have been popular in New Zild due to their presence in cow's urine. Whilst the presence of vibrio parahaemolyticus in spoiled seafood makes the comma shaped bacteria very popular in Australia.
Now the weather observer moves down to the Wind square, named with no regard to fart jokes, to choose the strength of the farts wind. A strength of 6 is usually chosen here. The choice of "b" flicks the dial around to "Random" and can result in flatulence.
Finally the weather observer can combine the readings to see what kind of weather will be experienced in their area from reading the final panel, the "Weather Shapes" panel.
The weather shape determines the mollycular weather shape and may not correspond to the weather experienced. If it comes down to it, Boysenberry weather is easier to deal with than Star Anise weather.


Rachel said...

Here we've been suffering through a LICE-IN-BART-SIMPSON'S-HAIR system which I fear may be followed by a rinsing in gasoline!

Another Kiwi said...

They is tricky little buggers all right. Using conditioner and a nit comb worked, here but it takes two weeks.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

How is yur weather in upsidedownland, A.K.?

Another Kiwi said...

Oh it is sunny to cloudy, temperatures around 20 C. Expecting storms and such in much of the North Island tomorrow but probably not here. The long range forecast for the annual Kiwis debauch at the seaside does not look promising but, as my son says, THEY HAVE SKY TV THERE!!!

Substance McGravitas said...

Don't let him go into the water with the television. The electric cords are just not long enough.