Monday, February 20, 2012

Quit your whining peons, do you think it's easy to go on an all expenses paid cruise?

The inestimable No Right Turn carries this story of the wonders of capitalism.
ANZ boss Mike Smith is taking his top staff on a $1.75 million cruise just weeks after axing 1000 workers to save money.
The exclusive Silver Shadow cruise of Malaysia's Langkawi islands boasts gourmet food, drinks and luxury suites. Each of the 200 passengers - 100 staff and their guests - will have a personal butler.
Just days after sacking 1000 staff - 600 from its Docklands (Melbourne) HQ - ANZ revealed a $1.48 billion quarterly profit.
Well, what are you looking at? D'you think it was easy to sign 1,000 "Fuckoffsky" letters? These are tough times, needing tough decisions made by the best and brightest tough folks.  Also do you realise the work that will have to be done to hide the profit so the jolly old tax department doesn't get it's legally mandated share? This will need many careful exploratory trips to the Cayman Islands.

16 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

We need pirates.

Big ones.
~

Another Kiwi said...

They will have to be pretty badass pirates to beat the brigands on the boat.

wiley said...

Rat bastards. Has the ship sunk yet? I cannot not hope for a watery, shark-ridden death for every last one of these rat bastards. Do it seem unfair to want all of them suffer miserable deaths? I dunno. How much ass-kissing and dirty deed-doing does one have to do to be "top staff". I can't imagine it's anything less than non-stop rat bastardly behavior on their part.

wiley said...

So, I guess you Kiwis are gettin' all shit-faced for President's day, huh. All I got is some brandy and a little bottle of cherry liqueur and both are inappropriate for tying one on.

So I'm sitting here all sober and shit.

While those rat bastards go on a cruise!

I'm not bitter.

O.K., I'm a little bit bitter.

Another Kiwi said...

In an extraordinary act of of selfishness and betrayal, NZ ignores Presidents Day, and does so every year. There is not even a minutes silence to remember the brave sacrifice of The Lawd Gob Reagan and all of his selfless devotion to astrology.
But wild 'n' free New Zilders will be gettin' liquored up and fighty somewhere, no question.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

I bet you traitors ignore Canadian Flag Day too, dontcha?
~

vacuumslayer said...

Good god. No...BAD god.

This behavior is so appalling I thought for sure it had to be USAian. I mean...goooooooooooood grief. Appalling. Appalling. I don't know what else to say.

Substance McGravitas said...

It's such a small country. How will this individual avoid weird things in the restaurant food for the rest of his life?

Smut Clyde said...

Australia's not *that* small, and Wealth is a separate nationality all of its own.

Substance McGravitas said...

Australia's not *that* small

Misread on my part.

Another Kiwi said...

The bank is the Australia New Zealand Bank and we are ALL ONE MARKET! We had money with them a long time ago but gave them the flick when they did some other act of bastardry. We are a bit tempted to re-open the account and then shut it.

Substance McGravitas said...

It's pretty crazy. It's surprising more things aren't burning in more places.

Another Kiwi said...

It' like they have a wall up between them and the world. A gated community of morons as it were.
It would be acceptable if they just fucked each other over but that seems to be the final taboo.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Quit your whining peons, do you think it's easy to go on an all expenses paid cruise?

But the bench is hard, and the oar is giving me blisters!

Smut Clyde said...

And now the bad news... the captain feels like water-skiing.

mikey said...

Hey, it's way weirder here. Here we make the rubes go bankrupt when they get sick, take their homes 'cause, well, we feckin CAN, let them become homeless when they can't find a job and at the same time as all of that insist they be able to get more and better GUNS.

Can't see what could POSSIBLY go wrong...