Friday, April 20, 2012

Alimentary, my dear Holmes.

Mention has been made in this september (post august, y'see) blog about Mr. Paul Holmes and his fond musings on shooting people during the London riots.   Now, he is weighing in on the issue of a tender that the government has accepted for Sky City Casino to build a convention centre in Auckland. There appear to have been shenanigans in the tender process and the episode underlines the gubblement of the day's attitude to gettin' stuff done.
At least that is what I think Holmes is writing about. It's a little hard to be sure. He, quite coherently, talks about the Trust he sits on which gives out 1% of Casino profits to community groups.
The trust is a wonderful thing. It enables a lot to get done. There are many people whose lives have been improved by the SkyCity Community Trust and are grateful for it.
But then the flailing neurones dislodge and the old coot is off and raving.
The Anglican Bishop of Auckland, he won't take any gambling money, never mind that gambling's been round since Adam was a cowboy. It'll be a while before the church gets a new roof, Vicar.
Adam was a cowboy? Of what? Who is the mysterious Vicar? What roof?
Then he follows up with some real politick stuff about how New Zild needs a convention centre and Sky City is the only company big enough to do it and John Key (Prime Mincer) makes deals on the spot etc.
Then he closes with
And you know what? The public doesn't care. It's a beltway issue, one to excite the sensitivities of the boys and girls in the gallery. Round at my place, no one really cares.
Mind you, I can never credit the numbers of people I see pouring in and out of that casino day and night, year after year.
It's a mystery to me. The gambling gene I never got. Got plenty of others, though.
Around at the "place" of one of N.Z.'s rich list, where the public hang out, no one cares. And he has plenty of genes, but not the gambling gene, if there was one, which there isn't.
It's just a sad column from someone who can't seem to concentrate for longer than 20 seconds.
I must admit my bias though. Mr Holmes crashed a Boeing Stearman aeroplane and extensively damaged it, while escaping any injury himself. THIS IS NOT JUSTICE!!.

13 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Sky City, Cloud City, where's our kitty?

Another Kiwi said...

I think Vader cheapened his image trying to rap. I mean he's The Man, how can he fight the powa?

M. Bouffant said...

There are many people whose lives have been improved by the SkyCity Community Trust and are grateful for it.

The rest of you non-arse-kissing ingrates can whistle for a roof on your little church.

Smut Clyde said...

It's a beltway issue

Remember, this is a New Zealander speaking, who using one of the diagnostic phrases of US political insider discourse in order to argue that he is a Heartland New Zealander and therefore he has never heard of the diagnostic phrases of US political insider discourse.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

You do have to admit that he's far from I-495, aka The Beltway, S.C.
~

mikey said...

Remember, this is a New Zealander speaking, who using one of the diagnostic phrases of US political insider discourse...

And then, perhaps inevitably, he gets it worng. Issues in the US are described as "Inside the Beltway" or "Outside the Beltway" to differentiate real national issues that matter to the electorate from silly or phony minutiae that DC politicians and pundits worry at endlessly.

I tend to think that the only "Beltway Issues" would concern the smoothness of the asphalt, the clarity of the lane markings and the viability of the shoulder...

Rachel said...

Speaking of alimentary, I thought Beltway was a brew co.

http://beltwaybrewco.com/

wiley said...

The REAL ISSUE here is the swinging of cats in casinos. Sure, people would bet on anything; but the swinging of cats is a step too far and MUST BE STOPPED!!!

Perhaps I should not be admitting that I read the whole article.

Another Kiwi said...

Well done wiley, we can but applaud your fortitude. Indeed the number of cats with curiously elongated tails is one of the side effects from Sky city that is not frequently discussed.

Substance McGravitas said...

That is a very empowering sense of freedom with words. Adam as cowboy doesn't make sense at all because presumably he had dominion over the animals and could just ask them to do stuff. Like die in a fire. After rolling in cilantro.

mikey said...

Oddly, I got hammered one night and asked that exact thing of my ex-wife.

Alas, apparently I had not been awarded (assigned?) Dominion over her, and she refused and threw a lamp at me...

Smut Clyde said...

The trust is a wonderful thing. It enables a lot to get done. There are many people whose lives have been improved by the SkyCity Community Trust and are grateful for it.

Holmes' starting point -- that it is morally OK and indeed desirable for charities to accept money from the gambling industry -- becomes funnier if you go through his rant, replacing every occurrence of "SkyCity Casino" with "methamphetamine dealers".

As for the rest of it, Paul Holmes wants his readers to understand that he is a well-connected media insider and mover-&-shaker who can drop terms like "beltway" and "commentariat", who is also in Touch with the Common Man and an expert on the Common Man's apathy about governmental corruption.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

It'll be a while before the church gets a new roof, Vicar.

Well, the church wouldn't need a new roof if some rapscallion would stop lifting the lead.