Wednesday, April 18, 2012

This Sporting life


"You loonies have to help!" said Evangeline von Holsterin to Smut and I in the Sporting persons and Echidnia blastomyces recognition bar of The Old Entymologist. "It is Pub Sports for Charradee, next week and we're in it"
"Madam" I informed her "we could not possibly join in a sporting event due to how we are involved in re-organising the 1965 Miss Busty collection. There have been mollycool transformations between August and November that you wouldn't believe. Also we are useless at games."
That is how we found ourselves on the Platform of Wisdom over the Fence of Doubt trying to get to the Snail of Virtue.
Note Smut's cheery wave to our supporter. Note Ms. van Holsterin pushing off Grubby O'Mallet from The Moibus Strip Bar..
The rules are in Latin but may be translated as "If you get hurt, it's your own fault, no backsies" The umpire dressed as Old Uncle Taxman throws bleeding great balls and sponges soaked in vinegar at one whilst one is trying to do the pointless tasks and shouts incomprehensibly at one. I do not call this entertainment.

13 comments:

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Hey, a Mekons song post title!!

mikey said...

The devil appears to be taking his ant farm and going home. I dunno what the hell kind of game you whackjobs came up with that even the devil won't play with your (already mightily tarnished) souls on the line. Especially because he seems particularly well suited to striding insouciantly through the brambles surrounding the rasslin' pit...

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The Snail of Virtue seems to be a hungry beastie.
~

Rachel said...

So those enshrined by Virtue are looking up the refusing skirt? Strange ethics indeed.

Perhaps the whimsical lady would settle on one of the suitors if it didn't look like they all poopie in their pants.

Substance McGravitas said...

I do not call this entertainment.

On the other hand if you'd stayed back at the pub you might have had a severe beating.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

It does look like there's a bit of the old ultraviolence going on back there.
~

vacuumslayer said...

"Mollycool transformations" is a strange thing to call masturbation.

Another Kiwi said...

Atrios has got the franchise for wanking posts for this week and I didn't want to get into copyright issues.

Smut Clyde said...

wanking posts

Is that what the kids are calling them?

mikey said...

She took all my money ... wrecked my new car
Now she's with one of my good time buddies ... they're drinkin' in some cross town bar
Sometimes I feel
Sometimes I feel ... like I've been tied to the wankin' post
Tied to the wankin' post
Tied to the wankin' post
Good Lord I feel like I'm - um, well not exactly dyin', but you see where I'm struggling here...

M. Bouffant said...

M confused. Who typed this?

Another Kiwi said...

Ah, picture by S.Clyde, Screenplay by A.Kiwi

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Executive Producer, Evangeline von Holsterin.
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