Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Halo Payload The hubcap of this life

If I've told you kids n times, I've told you n++ times: just because something is levitating and circular, doesn't mean it's a halo, so putting it on your head won't make you all saintly and canonised.

It could be the circular crushing mouthparts of a ghost Anomalocaris canadensis.*
Fossilised while swallowing a 1-cm ruler

Ha ha silly Uncle Smut! We know an Anomalocarid when we see one!

Ghost Anomalocarids are tricksy. They can turn invisible, apart from their mouths. Sometimes they disguise themselves.
Even if it was a halo, you don't know how old it is. Some of the
early models had bugs in the dimension-stability device drivers, and no safety cutoff. Unless you want to end up like Cousin Nicasius... ever since his 'little accident' he's only been fit for appearing in public-service warnings about the dangers of reckless trepanning, and modelling for designer egg-cups.

Novelty eggcup now available from the Riddled Gift Shoppe

Next time you kids find a 'halo', ask the staff to test it. That's what they're paid for.

This Blemmya's kneecaps are frog
faces. Your argument is invalid.
Kids today. It's as if they paid NO ATTENTION AT ALL when I showed them those public-service documentaries about other circular things hovering in the air that aren't halos.

* Way much cooler than ghost sharks.


ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Your ghost shark link did not work for me, S.C. However, I did stumble across this.

H. Rumbold, Master Barber said...

Re: stomata- Burroughs (W.S, not E.R) had, among other things, a thing for the disc mouth with rasp tongue and incurving hooks, likely derived from the lamprey.

Re: halos- the U.S. Capitol photo-op ceiling.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

Mythbusters were pretty unsuccessful in their attempts to create a flying guillotine.

Of course, a portable cliffotine would be a huge advance in civilization.

tigris said...

This Blemmya's kneecaps are frog
faces. Your argument is invalid.


Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

ever since his 'little accident'

I told him not to take that privilege to the Yoh-Vombis Vaults and Gift Shoppe.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Uh, pilgrimage... pay no attention to the man behind the cretin!

Jennifer said...


Smut Clyde said...

We need a "Helped by Jennifer" tag.