Saturday, August 25, 2012

The Beast with N fingers, where N > 5

OMFSM a giant Manicule is chasing Ann Althouse!!

Disembodied hands are always seen with modest, formal clothes concealing their bodies, for they are the most reserved elements of typography. Sobriety and decency are valued highly in their culture.

What kind of VILE UNSCRUPULOUS person would ply manicules with cheap spirits to get them drunk and incite them to wrestle naked in front of cameras? Only VILE UNSCRUPULOUS bloggers who pander to the salacious, prurient tastes of their readers. That kind.

Interestingly, like planarians and hydrae, manicules have the capacity to regenerate lost body parts.

A Turing-Child system with a ATP / cAMP gradient provides the apex / distal polarity, ensuring that the front half of a bisected manicule regenerates the missing hindparts and vice versa [insert HOX-gene bafflegab here]. With coelenterates you can over-ride that gradient by mucking around with oxygen levels or metabolic stimulants while the apical half regenerates, creating a pushme-pullyou Tubularia, which would be invaluable if one were writing a mash-up of Dr Doolittle and Surface Tension.



In theory this would work with manicules as well! Of course we are too principled at Riddled Research Laboratory to break the unwritten Laws of Nature by conducting that form of research. Sorry, the laboratory is not accessible at the moment, closed for cleaning.

We do not want to become outcasts from decent society, like Professor Woodroffe with his abominable experiments into manicule / flower hybrid grafts.

10 comments:

Another Kiwi said...

cAMP gradient
Always with the bicycles.

Gregor Samsa said...

You forgot the mummified hand of Saint Stephen:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Sztjobb.jpg

Substance McGravitas said...

which would be invaluable if one were writing a mash-up of Dr Doolittle and Surface Tension.

That could end with a squishing at the fingertip of a stray manicule.

Smut Clyde said...

You forgot the mummified hand of Saint Stephen:

There are a couple of saintly hands-of-glory in the Residenz in Munich. Tucked away inside glass-walled reliquaries that are in turn inside a glass case, to stop people using them as the Best Candelabras EVAH. Can't be arsed digging out my photographs.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

The Manicule Of Fate
Is On Me Now

(Also: MANOS!)
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

We do not want to become outcasts from decent society, like Professor Woodroffe with his abominable experiments into manicule / flower hybrid grafts.

Are you sure those are petals? I think they're rotors. Beware the deadly manicopters.

vacuumslayer said...

RELEVANT!

mikey said...

Y'know,it's well outside my areas of expertise, but I can't help thinking that the fact that there are TWO long bones in the forearm could very well indicate vestigial legs (I did SO know about the second "i" in "vestigial", I was just checking to make sure Webster did too).

Of course, this leads us to the unfortunate but necessary conclusion that the back of one's wrists is actually an ASS, and hence when someone claims to know something 'like the back of my hand' you can be aware that they have an unhealthy fascination with buttholes, much like the current American porn industry.

Further research will no doubt arrive at the implied elbow-foot connection, but for now I must go take my bath...

wiley said...

After you finish cleaning your lab, might you at least try to reverse the polarity.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I would run too. WHo knows where it's going to put that finger?