Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Super-intelligent genetically-engineered cyborg elephants in impermeable powered armour

I knew that would get your attention.

But the thing about Uplifted cyborg elephants is that they always want something more. You give them the armour, and a week later they are back at the laboratory door, all "The suit's great -- and it's nice to go exploring from airless planets to the oceanic abyss -- but can you fit it with skis for a weekend at Ruapehu? And tail-fins? And a rail for the Eye-of-Sauron lunch-box?"

They pay well but with some customers you sometimes wonder whether they're worth all the hassle.

12 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And make it kea-proof?
~

Another Kiwi said...

We have just about broken the rivets budget already. I suppose it will have to be Duct Tape again.

Substance McGravitas said...

but can you fit it with skis

I think you're being taken for a ride with the "super-intelligent" claim.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

How can they pay well when they work for peanuts?

M. Bouffant said...

You've been rooked: That is not the Eye o' Sauron.

This is the Eye o' Sauron.

fish said...

Just fit it with a kea gun.

tigris said...

SUBSTANCE IS BANNED.

mikey said...

And BOOBS!!

It looks like you kinda ran outta resources, and by resources I mean money n shit, 'cause you obviously just glued on that old steer head that's been hanging in the den since '55, and that "trunk cover device" is clearly recognizable as a lampshade from one of the art deco lamps in the sewing room. For that matter, it's completely impossible to tell WHAT the hell all the junk you've got piled in the commander's hatch even IS. Is that some of that weird stuff you been bringing back from Europe every year for decades and piling under the workbench in the garage next to the christmas decorations? 'Cause that shit is just weird, y'know?

Another Kiwi said...

I reckon that one could use the whole set-up as a pressure cooker if needed.

vacuumslayer said...

What's with the hapless, naked, gloved, headless woman?

Smut Clyde said...

It's surprising how often I hear that question.

vacuumslayer said...

Disturbing. Funny.