Wednesday, November 28, 2012

When the World Screamed

Professor Michael Persinger (whom FSM preserve) of Ontario has moved on from his magneto-cortico-stimulant 'God Helmet' [omniscience and omnipotence not included] and his celebrated "brains-emit-more-photons-when-thinking-of-light" experiments, to pursue a parallel between nerve-cell axons and lightning bolts:
As I was saying to Another Kiwi just the other day over a pint of Gleamhound's Sobriety Draught, the beta and theta rhythms beloved of EEG analysis are exactly the same as the Schumann resonant period of the ionosphere and its higher harmonics. AK replied with something about HAARP, unless he meant the harp player from the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra who is objectively PHWOAR.
Projecting brain-state onto a
balloon: not fooling anyone.
Unaccountably, Persinger has neglected the single vital test of any analogy between the human cerebrum and the terrestrial electrosphere, i.e. can one project one's consciousness into the latter, in a blasphemous transgression of all boundaries of human knowledge laid down by divine providence; ideally involving a thunderstorm over a castle in Weisseria at midnight, and / or a Tesla Tower? Sometime I wonder whether Persinger is fully committed as a mad scientist.

He has no end of laboratory rats, true, but no isolation tanks such as cause physical regression to earlier evolutionary stages and hallucinations of three Turbellaria flatworms in the sky.
Also I would like to point out that the other night when I was attempting to climb up the bookshelves under the impression that they were a staircase in order to stick my tongue in the light socket, that was not me but the terrestrial electrosphere projecting its consciousness into me.

UPDATED with Bonus projection-into-Bridge-of-Gods-ionosphere diagram. See how easy it is?

10 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Lightning generally causes me to attempt taking photos of it, therefore Professor Persinger is perspicacious.
~

El Manquécito said...

Having projected one's consciousness into the terrestrial electrosphere, how does one get it back? AFAF.

mikey said...

Seems like everybody's waves would just work to cancel each other out, and there would be bright sunny blue skies, happiness and puppies for all.

Amen. (I'm always troubled by the mixed tense, but apparently god wills it)

mikey said...

Hey, waitaminute, it's not mixed tense at all, but that whole singular/plural discontinuity, which is an abomination before god...

Jennifer said...

That bottom photo looks like the last perm I got in 1983...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

God helmet, eh? Could God make a helmet so big that it would be vast to fit on His Almighty Noggin?

Substance McGravitas said...

Lightning generally causes me to attempt taking photos of it

Well aren't you quick on the draw.

Smut Clyde said...

Having projected one's consciousness into the terrestrial electrosphere, how does one get it back?

Ideally -- taking Zelazny's "Lord of Light" as an authoritative source -- you need an apparatus assembed by Yama the deathgod to force your atman back into a vacant body.

The Whackyweedia has some "Lord of Light"-related news:
-----------------------------------
In 1979 it was announced that Lord of Light would be made into a 50 million dollar film. It was planned that the sets for the movie would be made permanent and become the core of a science fiction theme park to be built in Aurora, Colorado. Famed comic-book artist Jack Kirby was even contracted to produce artwork for set design. However, due to legal problems the project was never completed.

Parts of the unmade film project—the script and Kirby's set designs—were subsequently acquired by the CIA as cover for the "Canadian Caper": the exfiltration of six US diplomatic staff trapped by the Iranian hostage crisis (in Tehran but outside the embassy compound). The rescue team pretended to be scouting a location in Iran for shooting a Hollywood film from the script, which they had renamed Argo. The story of the rescue effort was later made into a movie, itself named Argo.

El Manquécito said...

Ideally -- taking Zelazny's "Lord of Light" as an authoritative source -- you need an apparatus assembed by Yama the deathgod to force your atman back into a vacant body.

It would seem easier to use the Castaneda method; have your shamanic teacher roll you into a handy irrigation canal. See Smyt, I remember some of my teenage reading too!

fish said...

Oh sure easy. Have you priced the Yama apparatus recently?