Thursday, December 6, 2012

Budget wants a cracker

In the hallowed halls of the Riddled pay office it has come to pass that, not to put to fine a point upon it, we is broke. Now, of course, we have a financial forecast group who plan ahead and make careful estimations about the future but as Chief Paymaster General Smut Clyde says "Roger has been off his feed something chronic". Roger being the Chief Prophesy Frog whose poos are examined for hints and tips for the future although some are saying it really tells you what he ate 3 days ago.
Part of the ongoing problem appears to be ingoings vs outgoings, what with Grant applications falling from a 1 in 7 success rate to a 1 in 12. Not that 1 in 7 was all that crash hot anyway. So less money is coming in whilst the disappearance of , for instance, Chocolate Hob Nobs from the tea room continues at a rate that some are calling scandalous. A task force is meeting to consider ways of getting incriminating photos of several members of the Grants Board though as I vouchsafed, we are only flesh and blood, can only stand so much.
My own area of wealth creation, Taq polymerase production has hit a few snags what with the giant mutant squids and such as. I think that people who sprinkle vinegar on their calamari and chips should check that the vinegar bottle has got vinegar written on it. It was quite clearly crossed out IMO.
I would have to agree that the social club has captured a large slice of the pie this year but who could resist The Magic Mermaid On Ice double billed with Uncle Waloos Fun Time Circus (now without Uncle Waloo). We certainly couldn't and they were not coming to our town so we had to have a special booking, for a week. But what a week!  The Magic Mermaid can drink and swear like a sailor is all I'm saying.
But we are caught between continuing to live as we do or to take the austerity route.
We only have to look at our own dear, new Zild government for an example of how sucessful austerity can be.
A third of the way through the Government's financial year, the fiscal deficit is wider than forecast on Budget day
The operating balance before valuation gains and losses for the four months ended October 31 was a deficit of $2.87 billion, which is $169 million larger than forecast at the time of the May Budget.
An unexpectedly weak September quarter has seen the GST take come in $153 million below forecast and the PAYE take $191 million below - consistent with weak retail sales and a jump in the unemployment rate.
Government spending also undershot the forecast, by $343 million or 1.5 per cent.
"Most areas recorded under-spends, with delays in some health spending ($117 million), and lower than expected welfare costs ($108 million) reflecting lower beneficiary numbers than anticipated," the Treasury said.
So less jobs and slower spending but less unemployment benefits being paid. Sounds like an excellent recipe for social cohesion, dontcha think?
The only civilised reaction to this government is Gin in medicinal volumes.


Smut Clyde said...

we are only flesh and blood,
and the flesh is spongy and bruised.

tigris said...

I like how when they print money it's "increasing M1 money supply" but when we do it's "forgery, ma'am, we're going to throw you in the clink." HMPH.

Substance McGravitas said...

Perhaps you should be inventing a new kind of noose.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Roger being the Chief Prophesy Frog whose poos are examined for hints and tips for the future although some are saying it really tells you what he ate 3 days ago.

Some don't believe in miracles, EITHER.