Thursday, February 7, 2013

Hater skater

We are proud to introduce the new range of skateboards from the Riddled gift-shop. Plenty of room to carry your shopping home from the stores! (especially if your shopping consists of three trumpet mutes, or jars of catnip as the case may be). Tigris is showing how easy they are to steer though in a momentary lapse of concentration she has dropped her glove puppets while taking the corner. Apparently a gum-nut tiara is what all the cool kids are wearing and I know better than to argue.

Now tigris juggles two customised Barbie dolls and a novelty birthday cake while performing an overcrook grind down the library hand-rail [hand-rail not shown due to copyright concerns]. She is SUCH A SHOW-OFF. She did not notice that Snuggles the Dog of Doom had hitched a ride on the front of the board and is somewhat taking the piss.
Of course this is the downside of having all that room for shopping. While one is driving away Milton the Griffin with an improvised flywhisk to stop him nesting in the new chess-inspired hat or peeing on the emergency back-up birthday cake (as he is wont to do), the Library Pixies all seize the opportunity to crowd aboard. "Give us a ride to the dairy!" they plead, all sadbrowneyes, and one does not have the heart to say no, particularly if one is averse to being injured in mysterious book avalanches on one's next visit to the magazine stacks.


Here are two stills from the home movie we filmed when tigris lost control of the skateboard and careered through one door of the Christmas Ale maturation facility (which doubles as the Riddled Amateur Dramatics Society Costume Store), then out the other side festooned with all manner of paraphernalia. They are not a stereo pair; Riddled is not responsible for eye-strain or permanent strabismus caused by trying to fuse them. Across the corridor from the back door to the Costume Store is the entrance to the Props Room / Public Key Exchange Facility, so it was inevitable that tigris's path would take her through that as well (in accordance with the ironcast laws of physical comedy).

It was a mistake to let Mrs Cat ride on a skateboard. Especially after she had been indulging heavily in the catnip.

12 comments:

M. Bouffant said...

I'll assume the wings tigris is sporting are available through one Riddled subsidiary or another; do they come in other colors? Or dragon-style? (Feather allergy.)

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Questions, S.C.!

1) Is this the first appearance of Snuggles, the Dog of Doom, at the Riddeled web log?

2) Where are Tigris' weapons?
~

Substance McGravitas said...

Skate movies are required to have soundtracks.

OBS said...

That is a way, way better story than Gleaming The Cube.

mikey said...

I can't help but notice that the skateboard is, in a number of its iterations, formed in the shape of the San Francisco Bay Area. I can almost see my house in front of Tigris' left foot.

I would also add my voice to the chorus seeking details about that darling little scamp Snuggles, the Dawg of Dooooooooom...

Smut Clyde said...

Snuggles is a lick arse.

Another Kiwi said...

Oooh look in fig.5 where tigris holds a captured sun. There is a key and tin of mer-sardines. I wondered what would become of Thundra putting sea monkeys into the evolvamat.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I can almost see my house in front of Tigris' left foot.

Is this some sort of macrophiliac fantasy?

AFAF

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Not to mention, that carrot (or a turnip, perhaps) growing out her head, A.K.
~

wiley said...

I don't know how you do it, tigris. It looks like it would be exhausting to deal with this bizarre array of artifacts while skateboarding. Did you not want to punch the disembodied heads, because ZOMG!! WTF?! Fucking disembodied heads!Fuck you, disembodied heads!

M. Bouffant said...

Uh oh. Y'all may be in for it now.

tigris said...

The heads, like the wings, are available in the gift shop. They are meant to be sort of aide memoire/ipod combo thingies, but as their memories and singing voices are not so great punching may turn out to be the more common use. I do have to admit they were good for pointing out mikey's house so I didn't accidentally squish it.