It was a slow day and the sun was beating II

Chief Sub-Editor Smut Clyde was bored, "There are no submarine stories at all" he said "how's the society page?" he asked Chief  Junior Society Page Under Reporter, Another Kiwi. That reporter checked his notebook "Evangeline van Holsterin thinks we are loonies" he vouchsafed "and ...I am winning the Hangman in Latin competition, reading Asterix books has finally paid off" 
"Lets check the internet for top stories" suggested Sub-Editor Clyde. "Righto" said Another Kiwi and went off to get the key and password from Human Resources UbergrupenFuhrer Greenish Hugh. He returned rubbing his left elbow "Greenish is liberal with the use of his clipboard" he noted. However they had the key and the password. With a mere 77 clicks and 2 retina scans they were on the internet.
"The Pope's resigned" said Smut Clyde.
"Yes" said AK "resigned."
"I expect he'll have a decent afternoon tea when he goes?" said Smut.
"They should get a clock for him, at least" said AK.
"He's only been there 8 years" said Smut
"That isn't a long time, but he's getting on a bit" said AK, as he noted in his reporters notebook 'Pope leaves, Markets Buoyed'.
Business Sub-Editor Twice Removed, Smut Clyde pointed to another story "Mainzeal has gone into receivership" he noted.
"It's better to give than to receive" intoned AK "But they are the 3rd biggest building company in New Zild and the building sector is going to lead us the sunny uplands of Porosity".
"Porosity?" questioned Smut Clyde.
"That's what the press release from the government said" explained AK "I expect it is to do with trickle down stuff. Or it's a new suburb in South Invercargill."
Senior Economics and Horoscope Diviner, tigris, walked over " What with job losses, record unemployment, and Auckland house prices entering into 1930's Berlin territory, things are looking a bit dodgy" she opined.
"In contrast to those days" said Mytwocentsworth pundit Another Kiwi "we do not have totalitarianist government who tread roughshod over the freedoms of the average kiwi"
"No" commented Smut Clyde "they sell their rights out to foreign business interests, instead."
"I do not understand why Warner brothers would threaten to never film here again if we see their e-mails" puzzled AK "surely a big company like that has nothing to hide?"
"Beats me " said tigris "unless there are some bad apples in the company"
"Bugger" said Smut Clyde " the internet time has run out. I think it is Twofer Toffee Stout day at the Old Entomologist, today"
"Ah hah" said AK "there may be leads to follow there".