Thursday, February 14, 2013

Space monkey, sign of the time
Space monkey, so outta line

What has the world come to, that respectable middle-aged gentlemen are not safe from indecent assault when tottering quietly home from the Old Entomologist after an evening of "Phoronid Worm affiliations within the Lophotrochozoa and Akvavit Pong"? And the police and the radio hosts are not helping either, what with their "HA HA it is his own fault for dressing provocatively, he was asking for it".
Anyway Another Kiwi is too shaken to come into work today so I am left with a deskful of Baroque Emblemata engravings, trying to work out from his cryptic inscriptions what he was planning to do with each one. I hope they are cryptic inscriptions and not a record of his bets on the Tauherenikau Races.

The many inventions of Athanasius Kircher included the subway tunneling machine with the rotating head. In the absence of the metallurgic breakthroughs to equip it with proper cutting heads, he seems to have intended to fit it with moths instead, so it could slowly drill large circular holes through his best robes. The alternative is that it is an advent calendar for spiders with a nice juicy insect hidden behind each door, and that would be silly.

Evidently the Iranian government is still releasing photographs proclaiming their awesome high-tech accomplishments. Not satisfied with launching a monkey into space and disguising its identity with a Scramble Suit, or with their state-of-the-electronic-art stealth fighter, the state news agency has now released documentary proof of Iranian pilotless drone capabilities.
Go home, Baroque Emblemata engraver. You are drunk.

10 comments:

wiley said...

Have these primates no shame? Stealing a banana now and then is one thing, but posing as an astronaut? Our monkeys are clearly superior.

zombie rotten mcdonald said...

I think "Drunk" is the only way to BE a Baroque Emblemata Engraver.

...umm, are there any openings? AFAF.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

"Come on baby, light my fire"
~

Another Kiwi said...

Oh great, I suppose I missed the bifurcated Trifecta on the 3.15 Watson and Philbert Apothecarys-at-Law Stakes?
Guinness Monkey, Space Cadet and Broken Gravy, how hard was that?

Smut Clyde said...

"Drunk" is the only way to BE a Baroque Emblemata Engraver.

There was a lot of overlap between the Emblem graphic tradition and the Hermetic Alchemy circles (at which point we're entering the territory of Stephenson's Baroque Cycle). What I'm saying is that Emblemata engravers had access to all the best drugs.

El Manquécito said...

Just back from a week of Mardi Gras festivities in New Orleans all of these scenes seem like just ordinary everyday activities.

Substance McGravitas said...

respectable middle-aged gentlemen are not safe from indecent assault

They're pulling his antennae off!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

They're pulling his antennae off!

And I immediately thought of...The Tick!
~

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

And I immediately thought of...The Tick!

Ahh... that would explain his dolorous battle cry, "fpoon!"

mikey said...

Like a window reflecting time
I'm living on a planet of my own design...