In a setback for our 'random serendipity' paradigm, our workforce of blind pigs has been lured away en masse to the better-remunerated groves of Mud-Wrestling with Obsessive Interducts Pedants. Not only does it pay more but the commenters by all accounts enjoy it. Also the pigs expect to someday learn to sing although we have sought to disabuse them of this notion (by showing them diagrammatic proof of the inherent limits of porcine vocal capacity, which of course they cannot see).
For the immediate future the consequent shortfall in truffle discovery has been covered by retraining monkeys from the "Writing the Complete Works of Shakespeare" project but this cannot be seen as a long-term solution. If there are more than 100 monkeys engaged in truffle acquisition activities at any one time then someone is bound to switch on the Morphogenic Field Flux Intensifier and they all start washing yams instead. This is linked in some way to
reports from another laboratory that leaving one or two socks in the drier will accelerate the drying of the next load of washing, i.e. the 100th Sock-Monkey Effect.
Congestion at Typewriter Warehouse
In addition this only shifted the labour-force deficiency to the language laboratory. We have tried training blind squirrels to operate the typewriters in lieu of the monkeys -- telling them that there is an acorn concealed somewhere in the office -- but their efforts are desultory at best and you know their hearts are not really in it. Truth to tell, they are not skwirls at all but actually mice kitted up with prosthetic fluffy tails... we figure that they are blind so they will not know the difference between one
Rodentia and another. Previously they were employed to run up and down stopped clocks that were right twice a day but that project was cancelled when the short-sighted bean-counters at the Marsden Foundation "re-considered their funding priorities".
We have met with little success in recruiting elephants to lurk in the corner of the room. But here at
Riddled Research Laboratory it is all about improvisation and making do, so here is Greenish Hugh doing the best he can.
UPDATE (for Fish in comments): Monkeys are always funny.
We have met with little success in recruiting elephants to lurk in the corner of the room. But here at Riddled Research Laboratory it is all about improvisation and making do, so here is Greenish Hugh doing the best he can.
9 comments:
Good Lord!
What the HELL have you BASTARDS done to Hugh's junk? Did you tie it in a knot, did you tie it in a bow? Did you throw it over his shoulder like a...I just can't go on.
Also, too, the idea of marking the door with measurements is to deter robbery by providing the witnesses with a mechanism to better estimate the height of the perpetrator. However, I'm disappointed to call your attention to the simple fact that your doin it worng. In this configuration, the height of EVERY SINGLE PERSON is 24.
Not terribly helpful to the constables who know all to well that it's about a bicycle.
Alright, S.C.
You must tell us what ale your on about.
It is clearly worth any price.
~
What the HELL have you BASTARDS done to Hugh's junk?
Clearly trunkated.
Monkeys are always funny.
That is rule #1 in comedy.
What the HELL have you BASTARDS done to Hugh's junk?
This is exactly what happens when you pull on someone's nose too much.
You must tell us what ale your on about.
It says right there in the post: Blind Pig
Monkeys are always funny.
That is rule #1 in comedy.
Wasn't enough to save Dennis Miller.
Truth to tell, they are not skwirls at all but actually mice kitted up with prosthetic fluffy tails... we figure that they are blind so they will not know the difference between one Rodentia and another.
I never knew Beatrix Potter wrote mysteries!
She doesn't. it's pretty clear now. that's Peter Rabbit!
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