Skull-Blogging: Gravity Pirates edition *

Back in 1979, Shaw and Pittinger showed that a pattern of skull growth determined by the gravity gradient produced a cardioidal transform across the course of the life span, which explained how head shapes change with time. They did not know that they were laying the groundwork for the research that would eventually culminate in the Riddled Evolvamat, and what with IP issues the ideal situation would be for them not to find out now.

Of course not everyone lives long enough to develop the fully adult Homo habilis head profile.

But in terms of sexiness and nubility there is much to be said for retaining the high forehead and the negative facial angle of youth. Obviously this is best done by reversing the gravity gradient. This is where the Rejuvenator Centrifuge comes in, shifting the locus of skull growth to the top -- and at the same time causing muscle and fat and skin to migrate in the same direction.

Rejuvenator Centrifuge is also a valuable alternative to steroids for producing super-strong chickens.

The cages are a regrettable necessity for sometimes the human subjects do not cooperate for the lengthy sessions of centrifuging required for complete results.

Smaller cages are useful for preventing excessively rapid skull enlargement and ensuring an optimal outcome.

UPDATE: Now the Riddled Research Laboratory is besieged with messages asking if the Rejuvenator Centrifuge can also be used with Volkswagen cars, to give them a youthful neotenous appearance.

We had no idea that there were so many sick perverts combining auto-eroticism with pedophilia.

* Alternative title: Emission of Gravity.