Thursday, August 1, 2013

Even littler eyes II

"Crikey" I vouchsafed as I sat down at the Riddled tea-room table "It is extraordinary how only the 'Dominion Post' shows the Queen with her beard and glasses. Are they the only paper that will tell us the truth?"
"I think so" said Smut Clyde as he put away his marker pen. With a hopeful look he took the lid off the biscuit tin and then, sadly, put the lid back on.
"I see" he said "that Al Quaeda (Hi NSA have a nice day) have their tentacles reaching into New Zild society and may even now be poised to strike"
"I never liked him" I opined " yes, he was a good goalie, but his brothers were all around better Hockey players" 
"What?" said Smut, once again outflanked by my tenuous grasp on current affairs. Thumbs, hah! Who needs them.
"Al Brider, Whanganui hockey goalie in the 70's. Good man in the goal but his brothers had a more tactical sense of the game".
"Ah" said Smut " I do usually discuss Whanganui Hockey history at morning tea but today I was referring to the announcement by the Prime Minster that New Zilders have been trained in Yemen by Al Queda"
tigris looked up from her 3 Dimensional Scrabble/ Sudoko Combo Quiz
"Yemen is a Middle Eastern country renowned for training terrorists" she said to me.
"I know that" I explained "it is nowhere near Taihape. I just think that if the PM made a official announcement it must be true"
"The official announcement on "The Morning Zoo with Gazza and Si"  you mean?" said Smut. (Sensational PM announcement at around 5 mins. in)
"Interestingly enough" I said "that radio station has quite a few listeners and many of them know whatever it was the PM was talking about , is"
"Yes" said tigris " occasionally one of them does indeed register that the takeover of NZ by various secret services is going as planned."
"All for our own good' I said "although even Mr. Key seemed a bit vague on what was happening. He just sort of talked without saying anything. I expect that's spycraft."  
"Undoubtably" said Smut "trained to wafflle, that man".
"I'm just wondering if we might have a security review at Riddled" I said.
"Tex and Mohammed Security do a good job" said tigris.
"Yes they do' I said but maybe we need internal security, passwords and that" I explained "with a cunningly chosen set of words only we would know"
Smut glanced up "It would depend on people remembering things" he stated.
"Ah" I said "there is that"
  

11 comments:

mikey said...

Write the password on a very small strip of paper and wrap it around a very large Weta. That would prevent the likes of ME from every compromising the Riddled safe word...

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

"It is extraordinary how only the 'Dominion Post' shows the Queen with her beard and glasses. Are they the only paper that will tell us the truth?"

Beard and glasses? I coulda sworn she was a scales and forked tongue type! Now, that's putting the Icke in crickey!

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

the Queen with her beard and glasses

So, just just needs a crown?
~

fish said...

When is the next episode of Smut, Don't Drink It? I want to set my DVR.

Smut Clyde said...

the Queen with her beard

I think his official title is "Prince Consort".

Smut Clyde said...

When is the next episode of Smut, Don't Drink It?

Estonian dark lager from the Saku brewery proves to have disconcerting off-notes in the bouquet and I suspect that the recipe includes cough medicine.

mikey said...

Estonian Purple Drank!

Maybe JaMarcus Russell could get a job there...

tigris said...

Life is a continuous marathon of "Smut, Don't Drink It!" episodes.

El Manquécito said...

Estonian dark lager

Really, you can stop right there.

Smut Clyde said...

I have not yet started on the Riga Balsam. That is tomorrow's assignment.
Latvian beer has proved so far inoffensive and surprisingly non-toxic.

fish said...

Latvian beer has proved so far inoffensive and surprisingly non-toxic.

I believe this statement is quoted in the Latvian Tourist Bureau pamphlets.