Tuesday, November 4, 2014

A perineal theme

We consulted a panel of observers of the art scene, well-informed, impartial, no axes to grind. We also consulted Old Jem, famously acerbic art critic at the Pahiatua Sentinel, whose exhibition of ground axes opened last night at the Masterton Regional Gallery and Lawnmower Maintenance to general acclamation (and complaints from Another Kiwi about stinginess with the servings of wine). We asked them about the sculptural genre of Conceptual Buttplugs.

Axe, grounded
A consensus emerged that Paul McCarthy is a poseur and a provocateur and that his buttplug-themed inflatables are a retrograde step in the genre. Also, AK vouchsafed that when you drop olives into the wine glass to raise the level a bit, this does not improve the flavour of either. Upon further inquiry, the panel agreed that the leading exponent of conceptual buttplugs is in fact Tony Cragg.

I am very disappointed in you, Intertubes:

Concerned as we are about integrity in conceptual-buttplug journalism, we should mention that the artistic tradition goes back at least as far as the Viking era, when Loki "fed
[Thor] a gallon of Castor Oil, painted his arse blue and shoved a cork in his bum-hole."

A precise depiction of the cork is not available.


OBS said...

You missed one.

OBS said...

Also, too.

Smut Clyde said...

Also, too.
That is part of Paul McCarthy's oeuvre and therefore NOT ART. We do not want to encourage him.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

A precise depiction of the cork is not available.

The fact that it was a genuine cork reveals much about trade routes from Iberia to Scandinavia in the Migration Era.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And Loki knew where to put the cork.

Peon Husk said...

not even funny. ButtPlug™ is our towing-package retrofit for auxiliary batteries.