Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Must be your eyes up on Mars
But it seems like the headlights from the cars

Mars, ancient Mars. Planet of mystery. Planet of MBA degrees, cuff-links, 360° reviews and 6-Sigma consultancies.
We are disappoint. This is not the Mars we were promised, all red and purple like Bruce Pennington cover art, where the corners of the ruins are rounded by millennia of sand-storms, and the weak light from a distant sun sinks without trace in the black water that runs low in the immemorial canals.
Carse walked beside the still black waters in their ancient channel, cut in the dead sea-bottom. He watched the dry wind shake the torches that never went out and listened to the broken music of the harps that were never stilled. Lean lithe men and women passed him in the shadowy streets, silent as cats except for the chime and whisper of the tiny bells the women wear, a sound as delicate as rain, distillate of all the sweet wickedness of the world.
Nevertheless the Business Secrets of Martians are an incontestable fact, and here are Manuel Arulmani and Victor Ranjitham Hema Latha to explain them:
The human population lived in MARS planet in prehistoric time shall be called as SUPER MANAGERS with super wisdom. They were considered as great astronomers and experts in management of various planets and in the space in overcoming the prehistoric severe climate conditions occurred due to misalignment of plan-ets. They had only three fundamental principles of management called AKKIE PRINCIPLES or AKKIE CODE.
[Emphases not mine, possibly those of Akkie Managers]. But wait, there's more!
The main reason for failure of objective shall be considered as “deviation to prehistoric standard Akkie principles”. Hence “TRANSFORMATION” is required in all types of business in all organizations. Transformation shall mean reset to Akkie principles. Authors focuse that Akkie principles shall be considered as the most fundamental principles (Ref. [2]). It is hypothesized that the prehistorical population has already lived in MARS planet. They shall be considered as Akkie population. The Akkie population shall also be considered as black population. The principles of modern management shall be transformed from the fundamental principles of prehistoric Akkie population called as Akkie principles, Akkie management (Ref. [2-4]).
Arulmani and Hema Latha are an industrious couple, having recently published no fewer than 74 papers, where "published" is a term of art which here takes the meaning "paid some academic jizz-mop of a journal to turn into a PDF". Another eleventy-dozen papers were squeezed out through various imprints of the egregious Marsland Press, sometimes sustaining entire issues of "Cancer Biology", but these do not appear in Arulmani's own list; it may be that they chose the publisher on the basis of its name.

The authors' industry is not matched by originality, for all the papers are permutations of a small number of claims (self-plagiarism is not an issue when one's preferred publishing outlets define "peer review" as "close inspection of the cheque"). It is invidious to pick out specific entries from the list but nevertheless I call your attention to
Great Obelisks [before sand]
#18 Barack Obama is Tamil Based Indian? and

The Prehistoric Tamil Mars Code features regularly... the primordial form of writing, far more efficient than all the later writing systems into which it degenerated, in that it requires only a single glyph, conveying millions of different meanings.

Also the Primal Winged Human form, and what appears to be an early Underground map. Albeit one which cannot be found in the pages of the Metronomicon, Abdul al-Hazmat's blasphemous Book of Binding of the Timetables.

"What happens when Dravidian racial-supremacy theories merge with business administration and Steiner's Anthroposophy and barking insanity?" asked absolutely no-one, but now we are looking at the answer. The Arulmani-Hema Latha oeuvre belongs to the literature of Dravidian / Tamil racial superiority. There is quite a lot of it out there, identifying the Harappan / Indus Valley Culture as Proto-Dravidian and crediting it as the source of all civilisation everywhere in the world. Money to fund racial-superiority publications sloshes over from the Tamil Nadu state budget (where Tamil-ascendant mythic archeology was official textbook doctrine) and from private supremacist benefactors. Since the funders could not give two tugs on a dead dingo's dick for the quality of publications, author / fantasists enjoy the kind of job security that right-wing pundits would envy, while the income stream for mockademic bottom feeders is equally reliable.
This genre usually invokes the lost continent of Lemuria / Mu -- the heart of the Dravidian Empire, destroyed by floods or vulcanism -- to explain why Tamils, despite their superiority, are not in fact masters of the world (although “Barack Obama is Tamil Based Indian“). Riddled readers have previously encountered another pair of similarly-themed and vanity-published ‘scientists’, Ravikumar Kurup A. and Parameswara Achutha Kurup.
Arulmani and Hema Latha take the geometric logic one step further by identifying the lost continent as Mars. The reason why Mars is off in space now, rather than still part of Earth’s crust, is the expanding universe. Also Red Shift.

We were promised Clark Ashton
Smith's Mars, where intelligent plants from another dimension conscript local minions to extend their vegetable empire to Earth, where tentacled abominations dwell within abyssal depths and enslave new arrivals by sucking out their eyeballs, where brain-digesting zombifying pancakes infest the Vaults of Yoh-Vombis.

All those activities come under the heading of "fundamental Akkie principles of management".


Anonymous said...

Akkapressure techniques restore signal to free* roam human phones.

Obakka phones.

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

And then you're in the man from Mars.
You go out at night, eatin' cars.

tigris said...

One vast, thinking ackee may rule Barsoom, but it is not a vegetable, it a fruit. BEHOLD the wisdom of the ackee! There I believe it spells out "Because your mother is so ponderously obese, when she is seated around the pyramid she is seated AROUND the pyramid."

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Akkie, Annunaki... it's all good, as long as the crucial role of Mu is acknowledged (akkiknowledged?).

Lemuria? Feh, that's Dero central, and needs to be shunned.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Also, love me some Leigh Brackett. John Stark FTW!