Monday, June 8, 2015

The hot chocolate drink ration is to be increased to 25 grams per week

Back at the Old Entomologist Korova Milkbar...
A customer is not happy with the Moloko Plus. Too much palm-oil and vellocet, not enough drencrom and synthemesc. My droogs, this is no way to sharpen up and make ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence!
It happened because our corporate overlords changed the recipe of a popular milk-sweetening product... or more precisely, Nestle decided it was cheaper to stop production of a specifically New Zild formulation of the stuff, and simply ship the generic Australasian recipe. Turned out that customers did notice the difference.

This general ingratitude angered the Penes de Milo who responded with an angry threat to dissolve the consumer base and appoint a new one. The extra sugar and palm-oil and the removal of that nasty unnatural "vanilla" taste apparently make the product healthier; the changes are "meeting the demands of consumers" which is why they hadn't been announced; and anyway they "haven't affected the flavour", so the consumption units should get used to the new unchanged flavour because there is no intention of "changing the recipe back".
Then the Mountain Gods of Borneo joined in by shaking the mountains to show their wrath at the recipe change, although the Malaysian government misunderstood the message and blamed it on naked tourists instead.

This was going to segue into another rant about Ruggiero and his magic cancer-curing yoghurt but TL;DW.

6 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

If only you had a Prime Mustelid, perhaps you would have some red dress. Or redress, whatevs.
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Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

As long as the Liberty Gin still flows, the proles in Sector 7G will remain docile.

rhwombat said...

itdgy:
There's a Key difference: the UnZud Prime Mustelid isn't (a) as afflicted with dementia pugulista, and (b) given to wearing red budgie smugglers ( hence the standard reference for Today Rabbott: all smuggle, no budgie).

JP said...

"You might as well just drink malt."

Oh, but I do. I do.

Smut Clyde said...

Yes, but you have the sense to ferment it first.

fish said...

Regardless of the malfeasance of corporate food behemoths, I find this somewhat horrifying. 2 week supply?!?!?

I really hope that is just a joke...