Friday, November 6, 2015

Skull-blogging: Extra Pyramidal Side-effects
An Allegory on the Banks of Denial

So everyone is giving Ben Carson a hard time for coming in broken and stupid, but a sense of fairness impels me to make three points in defense of his Pyramids-are-Joseph's-Granaries, Scientists-credit-them-to-aliens thesis:
1. Teach the controversy!

2. The pyramids have settled substantially, even since 1676. It is perfectly feasible that they were largely hollow when originally constructed.

3. Perhaps they did hold food reserves, just in a more concentrated form than grain.
Helen Altman doin it rong
As any fule know, the pre-dynastic Egyptians were inspired to invent granaries by watching their alien scientist visitors pour millet seeds into skulls, and pour them out again, as a measure of cranial capacity.
In fact the first granaries were built in the shape of giant upturned skulls, and called "brainaries".


rhwombat said...

Ben Carson: Mannantech from heaven, or auto-hemispherectomist?

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

Ben Carson was a neurosurgeon, so he knows that the human brain is primarily composed out of millet. There are strands of vermicelli acting as connectors, but it's mostly millet in there.

Smut Clyde said...

I am shocked to report that a Rawstory report is poorly researched:

[Carson's] relationship with Christian-run firm Mannatech, which hawks bogus herbal cures to the faithful.

The whole affinity-fraud business model relies on the credulity of the customers and their belief that the fraudster shares their religious values, but there's no reason for a journamalist to be equally credulous.