Sunday, November 8, 2015

May there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea *

* Evidently Alfred Lord Tennyson was opposed to the use of ferry-moans.

Except in Scotch ales where a certain level is acceptable to bring out the malty complexity, Diacetyl is judged as a taint in beer flavour [also in the Spargelpony Ale-sparagus sometimes available on handpull at the Old Entomologist]. But Diacetyl also turns out to be a copulin, a genitally-transferred mind-control hormone; raising the possibility that the Scots are collectively in thrall to Gynocracy.
Gynocracy Israel
Copulins are doing their best to spread from the fictive realm into objective reality, having already infiltrated as far as the Oprah Show and the Discovery Channel. Here is a male-type person with a Boyz Only Clubhouse blog who has some strange notions about deferred-gratification Karezza / Tantrix-sex** techniques as a form of feminine mesmerism:
Through the process of coupling a female and male will lay relatively still without having sex with the penis inside of the vagina. The process may take up to 15 minutes and works faster and more efficiently when the female is on top of the male.
The time and immobility are required for progesterone in vaginal secretions to dilate the urethra and make it wide enough for the copulin nanobots:
During this period the vagina injects up to 1/2 cup (100 ml) of the copulin fluid into the urethral opening at the tip of the penis, which is chemically attracted to semen, and will follow the semen down the shaft directly into the testicles. the consternation of the spermatozoa, lined up in the epididymis and patiently awaiting the 'jump' signal.

I've seen that movie
From there they find their way to the male's brain and replace the neurotransmitters so he cannot help but think feminine thoughts: a victim of psychic vampirism.
If you are within 3 feet of an ovulating woman or group of them YOUR polypeptides are being replaced at a rate of 5% a minute with THEIR copulins.
PZ Myers is skeptical:
Yeah, try pouring half a cup of liquid onto a penis and getting it to travel all the way to the testicles and then enter the bloodstream. It’s hydraulically impossible. I’m also trying to picture a vagina “injecting” anything.
I find his lack of imagination disturbing. He needs to watch more ovipositor-themed weird Japanese anime.

There is far more to learn about copulins and their pluripotency as neurotransmitter substitutes, but to avoid distortions inserted at the Boyz Only Clubhouse, let us turn to the original source of information -- in which How To Train Your Dragon becomes an Inception / FemDom fantasy.
When copulins are transmitted from female to male, a dramatic change occurs: the male's brain is completely open to the female's input. Anything a woman says to her mate becomes his own thoughts. Call it marital mind-control, brainwashing, or whatever, but copulins have proven to improve relationships dramatically

Males shut out all other voices and did not respond to other females' voices in the lab, nor voices from a speaker.
How the hypothalamus is caused to filter all but a single voice is what is not understood.
During this time, the female can vocally do the following:
A) Change, remove, or insert memories.
B) Tell the male what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes.
C) Insert subconscious thoughts that will surface as male "ideas" or behavior later.
D) Plant trigger words or actions that can cause thoughts, actions, or sensations in the male at later dates (days, weeks, even months).
...a veritable Manchurian Glandidate, one could say, if one didn't mind stealing jokes.

This source is officially known on the Interlattice as "that creepy website about using copulins". It's been around since 2004 although chatter at the affiliated Yahoo Discussion Group tapered off after 2007.

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The author, of the female persuasion, prefers to remain anonymous, perhaps for fear of the retribution that would follow were she known to have divulged the genderlore.
At the risk of my career, I have done this research on my own, with my own funding. Contributions and volunteer research subjects are always welcome.

Here at Riddled Research Laboratory we are often sending out similar invitations.

** I do not rate for tantric sex. I am given to believe that "tantra" is the plural of "tantrum", leading to the conclusion that "tantric sex" involves howling inconsolably, beating the floor with balled-up fists, and holding one's breath until cyanosis ensues, in which case the adjective is redundant.


rhwombat said...

Crivvins! Whale tha's torrrrn it! Dae ye nae rrrrealise tha eeemplications o wha yeer fashin aboot, ye wee skeevey scunner? Hoots Mon! Now wheel be oop tae oooor sporrans in grrrraspin sasenach's, aaaall wi the explicut purrrrpus o' subverrrrtin the pride o' plaid, an the (pauses, splashes more woad-coloured makeup over left side of face) FRRRREEEEDOM (!) tha cannae be tayken fro oos. Nae bloody wonder the malts hae been smelling more like coo juice than peat lately. So watch wheere yee'r throwen acooosations o' gynocracy, Laddie, or yeell be nursing a wee Glaskey kiss!

Smut Clyde said...

Do not make me load photographs of me in a Cameron of Erracht kilt, weegee boy. That never ends well.

rhwombat said...

If I recall my Goodies epistemology correctly, this is summat tae do wi' blancmanges at Wimbledon?

Smut Clyde said...

Have I called rhwombat a barmpot, a numptie or an eedjit? Please notice my forbearance.

Big Bad Bald Bastard said...

I'm sure the original 'theorizer' is safe from that pernicious womanly essence.

rhwombat said...

Gullty as charrrrged, Yoor Honourrrr! Ye haeve me by tha' Gorbals, an' I cannae but boo doon ma haid tae yoor forbearance - nae tae mention yoor forebears.